Alison Angel flattens mugger

Dainty adult film star Alison Angel at home.

The National Reporter
Alison Angel, the petite beauty and star of several adult films was attacked outside of her home over the weekend by an obsessed fan.

Alison Angel is the second adult film star who has been in the news this week.
Read more here.
Gianna Michaels lands 1200 pound shark

“I was out in my garden watering my tomato plants when this guy came up from behind out of no where and put his arms around me.” Miss Angel told us.
The National Reporter – What did you do?
“Well at first I was scared, but my karate training kicked in and I grabbed his arms and threw him over my shoulder.” she said.
Alison has been taking karate lessons from long time friend and co-adult film star Gianna Michael’s.
Alison holds a brown belt and she expects to be promoted to black belt early next year.
The National Reporter – What happened after you threw him to the ground?
“I thought he was knocked out at first because he just layed there for a few seconds. But then he got up and came at me again. That was when I really layed into him with a few round house kicks and a flurry of punches.” She said.
The National Reporter – Were you scared at all?
“Not at first, I just reacted and let my Karate training take over. The next thing I knew he was laying on the ground unconcience and I ran inside to call the police.”

The mugger has been identified as 24-year-old Abdul Mustafa, who had recently immigrated to the U.S. from Pakistan.
Police have disclosed that he is a registered sex offender in Pakistan and had been imprisoned seven times for rape and child molestation before he immigrated to the U.S. last year.

Abdul Mustafa after being beat up by petite adult film star, Alison Angel.

When The National Reporter showed Miss angel the photograph of her attacker taken at the county jail, she let out a quiet girlish giggle.
“Oh my goodness,..did I do that?” she said.
She seemed kind of surprised at the severity of the facial injures that she had inflicted on him.

Breaking news! Alison’s mugger sentenced to fifteen years in prison!
Read it now!

Ooops,..I guess I don't know my own strength.

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Frankenstein robs Fort Lauderdale bank.

The National Reporter
47-year-old Robert Jeffreys has been roaming the streets of Fort Lauderdale Florida dressed like Frankensteins monster after having a bad reaction to LSD when he was 16.
Local residents were amused at first, but in the past few years his shenanigans have gone from amusing to down right frightening.
What started out as harmless fun soon became a serious psychosis.
He really believed that he was Frankenstein.
His first violent out burst was recorded on video tape at Fort Lauderdale’s  busy Coral Ridge mall.
He was video taped walking through the mall which he did everyday since he was 16 when he suddenly grabbed a small child and tried to drop her in the fountain.
Mall security guards quickly grabbed him and escorted him out of the mall and banned him from coming back.

Robert Jefferys is shown here walking through the Coral Ridge mall moments before he grabbed the child.

For the next two weeks the streets of fort Lauderdale were void of Roberts Jefferys daily strolls dressed like Frankenstiens monster.
Then in the early hours of December 18th, he reappeared in the lobby of the Colonial bank with a more sinister motive in mind other than to scare people with his monster costume.
He came to rob the bank.
“Everyone knows Robert, he’s a nut that  dresses like Frankenstien and walks around town trying to look scary.”  Robbery witness Tim Howell told us. “I always thought he was harmless until now.  It was really wierd,  he didn’t have a gun or anything.

He just thought that the tellers were going to hand the money over to him because he was dressed like Frankenstien and they would be terrorfied.
He just stood there grunting and saying gimmie money, me want money,..gimmie money!!”

Me want money,..gimme money! he grunted

“No one said anything, everyone thought he was just fooling around like he always does.
Then when the security guard walked over to tell him to leave,  he swatted him aside with his arm and stomped towards the counter.
That was when we realised that he had finally gone over the edge and completely lost his mind.”
The teller hit the silent alarm button when Robert started roaring insanely and climbed over the counter.
He rolled over the counter and fell to the floor and struggled to get to his feet for a minute or two,  he had a hard time because of his extra-large Frankenstein boot with the half-foot lift bottoms.
Once he got to his feet he began scooping up cash and stuffing it into his Frankenstein jacket.
When he had filled his jacket,  he roared at the tellers and the customers again and climbed back over the counter to make his get away.
He was grabbed by police and the FBI seconds after he walked out side and arrested.

Robert Jeffreys AKA, Frankenstein, being led away by police and the FBI after his unsuccessful bank robbery.

When he was brought into court for his arraignment, he had to strapped to a wheel chair because he had become increasingly violent while in custody.
Judge Ernest Goldman said he had never seen such a deranged individual in all his 36 years on the bench.
Roberts defence attorney is expected to enter the insanity plea.

Robert Jeffreys AKA, Frankenstein, being rolled into court for his arraignment.

Mr. Jeffreys is still in jail under suicide watch.
Judge Goldman has set his bail at 1 million dollars.
The National Reporter will be on hand to cover his trial when it comes up in mid July.
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Adult film star, Gianna Michaels single handedly lands 1200 pound shark

Gianna is seen here posing with her trophy shark.

The National Reporter
Beautiful adult film star and Seattle native, Gianna Michaels, single-handedly caught a 1200 Lb. shark last weekend while on a fishing trip with a few friends.
The National Reporter – What did you think when you first snagged the shark?
“I thought my line got hooked on something, like a sunken boat.” She told us. “Then all of a sudden it swung my pole around and went under the boat.  That was when I knew I had something big.”
The National Reporter – Were you scared when you found out that you had an enormous shark on the end of your line?
“Not really, well, maybe a little bit.” She said. “Sharks are pretty dangerous, I was kind of afraid that the thing was going to leap out of the water and thrash up the boat, but when I saw that Captain Rollo was ready with a high-powered rifle I stopped worrying about it.”
The National Reporter – How long did you fight it?
“Wow,..it seemed like it took all day.” She said. ” But, it was only around an hour and forty-five minutes before it was exhausted and we hoisted it aboard the boat.”
The National Reporter – People are saying that you fought this shark all by yourself,  is that true?
“Ha,ha,. it sure is!”  She laughed.  “A few of the guys offered to take the pole from me when I started getting cramps in my arms, but I refused to let go so someone else would get all the credit.”
After Miss Michaels posed for the above exclusive photograph for The National Reporter,  she had the shark delivered to a local taxidermist to have it stuffed and mounted.
“This shark is going to look awsome in my apartment!”  She said.

Aside from her love for deep sea fishing, Gianna Michaels has other interests that are little known to the general public.
She has been an avid skeet and trap shooter since the age of 12 with several regional awards to her credit plus she holds a third degree black belt in Japanese Goju-ryu karate.

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Skeletal remains of half cat / half human now on display in Cairo museum

The National Reporter
The skeletal remains of what appears to be a half  human / half cat has been removed from the recently discovered hidden chamber of the great pyramid and is now on display in Cairo’s national museum.
Scientists from around the globe have been arriving in Egypt to study the strange skeleton,  many of them do not believe that it could be real.
“We know that the ancient Egyptians were accomplished taxidermist, this is most likely one of their creations they made to scare away thieves.”  Dr. Jason Hendley of Oxford university told us.

Find out more about this amazing story here.
Hidden chamber discovered in peak of great pyramid

Some of the scientists agree with Dr, Hendley while others are less sceptical.
“I find it quite perplexing that the spinal column of the creature is actually attached to the skull.”  Dr.Winston Gorjone explained. “If this was the creation of some ancient taxidermist, the attachment of the skull to the spinal column would have been obvious.  There would be wire holding the skull to the spinal column. In this case, there is not.   The bone is fused together naturally which would indicate that this skeleton may indeed be the remains of some long forgotten species of animal.”

The half cat/ half human skeleton that was found in the recently discovered hidden chamber in the great pyramid.

“What we must not forget is that ancient Egyptian lore is filled with half human/half animal beings.” Dr. Gorjone said. “The question that now lies before us is whether or not they were imaginary or if they really existed.

Examples of ancient Egyptian half human/ half animal Gods.

The National Reporter – What can you tell us about the mysterious floating orb that was found in the hidden chamber?
“I am not at liberty to discuss it.” Dr. Gorjone said. “For now the golden sphere is considered a state secret by the Egyptian government and we are not allowed to discuss it with anyone.”
The National Reporter – How soon do you think the secret of the floating sphere will be uncovered and when it is, will this information be released to the public?
“Right now the sphere is still inside the great pyramid. From what I have been told it can not be moved.  Technicians have tried using hydraulic pistons to force it free from its present position, but the force field it is generating is to powerful.   What it is and how it has managed to stay afloat for thousands of years is still a mystery.”

The National Reporter  will be on hand when the mystery of the floating orb is discovered and we can guarantee our readers that they will read it here first.

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Tremendous sink hole treatening to swallow community in Virginia

The National Reporter
What began as a small hole in the ground along side of a path in a wooded area next to a Virginia beach community has grown into a colossal bottomless pit.
A group of hikers discovered the hole four months ago and reported it to the parks department.
“It looked like it could be quite hazardous.” Frank Blakely, one of the hikers told us. “We were afraid some small children might come along and fall into it. It was deep as all hell, we dropped a few rocks into it and we never heard them hit bottom.”

The hole was first discovered by hikers along side of a path in the local woods.

The parks department closed off the hole with caution tape and a plastic mesh fence and had made plans to fill the hole in.
But two weeks later the ground around the hole in a one hundred foot radius began to sink.
Several witnesses were on hand as the ground collapsed opening up a very large crater that toppled trees.
“It was a frightening thing to watch.” Silvia Shelby told us. “we could see the ground begining  to move downward slowly at first, then it just gave way and the ground opened up. Trees fell over and went down into the hole, rocks and boulders tumbled down. It was a terrifying spectical to watch.”

Two weeks after the hole was first discovered, the ground collapsed around it forming a huge crater big enough to topple trees.

That was just the beginning of things to come.
In the following months the hole continued to grow in size and depth.
by the end of the first month the hole looked like an open stone quarry one would see in the mid-west.
Local residents were in fear of the hole growing even larger and demanded that something be done about it.
“How big are they going to let that thing get before they do something about it?” nearby resident, Gloria Loomis asked.
“That damned hole is only a half mile from by house, I’m scared to death!”

One month later, the sink hole resembled an open quarry.

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine has sent surveyors out to the hole to measure its depth and width and secretary of state Hillary Clinton has been given 100 million dollars to form a study group to discuss the reactions of the local wildlife.
In the meantime the hole as grown larger each day.
Three months after the hikers came across the hole, it  grew to over five hundred yards across.

Aerial view of the hole three months after it was first discovered.

Four months later, the hole has grown to enormous proportions.
At nearly a half mile wide and with no indication of how deep it is, the hole continues to grow each day.
It has expanded to the nearby rivers and created huge water falls on its ridge which are emptying the water at a dramatic rate.
The draw of water into the hole has caused a huge surge in sea water to travel up the river and at high tide the sound of water crashing over the newly formed falls is deafening.
Residents who live  a mere few yards of the hole have been evacuated, and all they can do is stand by and watch helplessly as their homes tumble into the hole within the next few days.

Four months later the hole is poised to swallow up homes in the nearby community.

The National Reporter  went to the state capital to meet with Governor Tim Kaine to find out what he was going to do about the giant sink hole.
“There isn’t a lot we can do about it because our funds are very limited.” he told us. “It is possible to fill the hole in, but it would cost nearly 100 million dollars and the federal government refuse’s to throw that much money away on what they call, wasteful projects,  since this hole is only effecting local residents in a small town.”
The National Reporter – So what is going to happen to the people who lose their homes in the next few weeks?
“They will have to make the best of their situation I’m afraid.”

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Trio of Kids find amazing money machine!

Old abandoned house where the kids found the amazing money machine

The National Reporter
Three youngsters who live in Johnstown Pennsylvania were out exploring last summer when they decided to go to the old abandoned house a mile out in the woods from their suburban neighborhood.
At first they were afraid to go inside because the house is rumored to be haunted by old man Bubba, the previous owner who had died there last year.
But the spirit of adventure out weighed their silly fears and they climbed in through a window.
“The house was smelly and there was a lot of raccoon poop all over the place.” 12-year-old Jimmy Winters told us.
“Yeah,..it smelled like poop real bad.” His friend Andy Whitehall added.
“I heard old man Bubba used to go to the bathroom on the floor and put his doody in plastic bags then he would throw them at people.” 10-year-old Tommy Wright said, he was the youngest of the trio.
The National Reporter – He sounds like he was quite a nut case.
“Yeah,..he was a stupid. We used to throw rocks at his truck when ever he drove down our street.” Andy said.
The National Reporter – Tell me about the amazing money machine you boys found.
“We found it in the basement, it must have been old man Bubba’s machine.” Andy said.
The National Reporter – Where is it now?
“It’s still there.” Jimmy said. “It’s too big and heavy to move.”
The National Reporter – Well, why don’t we take a ride out there and get a look at it.
The boys agreed and we all piled into The National Reporter Hummer.
The boys directed me to go down a dusty dirt road that twisted and turned through the woods, after nearly two miles we pulled up in front of the dilapidated house and got out.
“We got to go in through the window because the door is locked.” Jimmy said.
I helped the boys climb into window then I followed them inside the dark filthy house.
It really did stink awful and there waas piles of raccoon poop all over the place.
 Once inside we made our way down to the damp musty basement.

The National Reporter – O.K. boys, where is this amazing money machine?
“It’s over there.’ Jimmy said pointing to the far corner.
I swung my flashlight around and there it was surrounded by piles of money.
The amazing money machine.

The amazing money machine with brand new money piled around it.

“We made a lot of money with it already, do you want some?” Andy asked.
The National Reporter – Sure, I’ll fill up my hummer with it.
There was more money than I have ever seen in my life, the kids were telling the truth.
It really was an amazing money machine!
The National Reporter – How does it work?
The boys scrambled over to a stack of boxes and took out a thick pile of paper and placed it into the back of the machine.
“Now all we have to do is push this button and it makes money.” Andy said.
I watched in awe as the machine hummed to life and an instant later it began spitting out brand new one hundred-dollar bills.
The National Reporter – That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!
What are you boys going to buy with all this money?
“I’m going to buy a dirt bike and a swimming pool for my back yard.” Andy said.
Jimmy smiled and said he was going to buy a gigantic television just for playing video games on and a dirt bike.
Tommy was going to buy an all terrain vehicle and a BB gun, the kind you pump up 25 times and shoots half way through a phone book.
“What are you going to buy, Mr. Flashman?” Andy asked.
The National Reporter – Do you boys know what a hooker is?
All three of them shook their heads no.
The National Reporter – Well I’m going to buy a bunch of them.
“O.K.!” Jimmy said.
After that we made more money and scooped it up and loaded it into the hummer.
I dropped the boys off at home and bid farewell to Johnstown and made a beeline back to the land of hookers and beer.

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Hidden chamber discovered in peak of great pyramid

Location of newly discovered hidden chamber in pyramid

A small well hidden chamber has been discovered by a robotic probe in the Khufu pyramid.
In 1993, a robotic probe was sent into an air shaft and after many twists and turns, was stopped by a marble door in its path.
What lied beyond this door was a mystery until late last month when scientists were given permission to continue their exploration by drilling a small hole though it so that a fiber optic probe could be inserted into it.

Once the hole was drilled, the optic fiber probe was inserted and the exploration of the shaft continued.

The fiber optic probe traveled upward into the shaft for several yards turning and twisting until it came to an open chamber approx. ten feet deep and five feet high.
What it reveled inside that chamber was shocking.
Standing in the middle of the room in front of a second doorway was the skeletal remains of an animal.
But this was no ordinary animal.
It appeared to be a large cat with a deformed human head standing guard in front of the entrance to the second chamber.

Skeletal remains of a strange animal guarding the second entrance in the chamber

When the image of the animal was displayed on the video monitor, several scientists thought  that it could be the actual remains of one of ancient Egypt’s most revered mythical half cat half human beasts.
Could this be proof that they were real?
The skeleton was scrutinized for nearly three hours by the exploration staff and the image was aired in real-time around the world to several major university’s.
What the beast is remains a mystery, but one thing has been determined.  It is a real skeleton, not a sculpture or the creation of an ancient taxidermist.
The probe continued past the skeleton and slowly made its way through the second opening into the main chamber.
The small light that was emitted from the fiber optic probe scanned the pitch dark room for several minutes, it appeared to be empty.
The chamber was much to large for the tiny light to illuminate,  so a second more effective light was sent up the shaft to the chamber to aid the fiber optic camera.
When it did, it revealed a much larger chamber than the first.
When the video probe turned and faced directly into the room an even more shocking sight greeted the scientists.
In the middle of the stone chamber was a golden sphere about one foot in diameter floating in the air about eighteen inches from the floor.

Golden sphere floating in the air in the second chamber. Take note of what appears to be a shadow under the Orb. This is not a shadow, it is discoloration from the energy source radiating from the Orb. This force is also pushing the bat droppings aside.

The scientists were amazed at what they were seeing.
The sphere was just hovering in mid-air.
There were no wires holding it up, it was not an illusion.
It has been estimated that the floating sphere is directly in line with the top point of the pyramid .
When word of the mysterious floating sphere reached the Egyptian antiquity Department, the exploration team was ordered to cease their activity and withdraw the probe immediately.
The video tape was confiscated and they were ordered to leave the pyramid.
The next day the Egyptian government issued a gag order that forbid any disclosure of the skeletal remains of the half human half cat and especially the floating sphere.
They were to remain a state secret until it could be determined exactly what they were.
Fortunately the story was picked up by The National Reporter before the gag order was issued and we are at great risk bringing this astonishing find to the world.
What the scientists will uncover about these strange objects is unknown at this time, but you can depend on The National Reporter to be the first news agency to carry the story.

Breaking news!

Click the link below to read the latest update on the mysterious floating orb!.
Floating orb astounds scientists across the globe!

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Mysterious electronic implant discovered in mans tooth

Bizarre implant was discovered during routine dental exam.

The National Reporter
Wally Hanson, a sixty-seven year old retired police officer from Albany New York, got an unexpected surprize last week.
While visiting his dentist for a routine check up, a mysterious metallic object was discovered in his tooth.
“It’s weird as hell.”  He said.  “It’s a tiny electronic implant of some sort.  I have no idea how the hell it got there.  It wasn’t there the last time I had my teeth X-rayed a year ago.”
His dentist, Dr. Fred Wallington had this to say.
“I never saw anything like this.  There is no opening anywhere near the implant. No scarring or filling, it’s like it just grew there.”

There are no markings to indicate how the strange electronic implant was placed into the tooth.

Mr. Hanson contacted the FBI about his mysterious implant the day after it was discovered and they were very interested in finding out what it was.
He was immediately flown to Washington DC to under go some extensive tests.
Dr. Bernard of the FBI’s forensic medical investigations unit conducted several tests on the object and concluded that it was a transmitter of some sort and that  not only was it transmitting a  very high frequency signal,  it was also receiving an incoming signal.
What that incoming signal is and how it is effecting Mr. Hanson is a mystery.
“It doesn’t seem to be having any kind of effect on Mr. Hanson.” Dr. Bernard told us. “But we do know that every time it transmits, a few seconds later a signal is returned to the device.”
The National Reporter – How often does the implant send out signals?
“We’re not sure, but it seems to be at least four times a day. They are very short and easy to miss, so there may be more.  Some of them only last for a hundredth of a second, but despite the short transmission time, there is a lot of information being exchanged.”
The National Reporter – Do you have any idea who or what put the implant in Mr. Hanson’s tooth?
“Not yet, but it can be anything from some kind of marketing device placed in there by a corporation or a foreign government using it to spy on us. And we aren’t counting out extra terrestrial’s either.”
The National Reporter – Do you have any idea’s what the signals are saying?
“They are in some kind of code, but it isn’t the usual binary code.  This is weird, it’s in some sort of quad code.  So far we haven’t been able to make heads or tails out of it.”
The National Reporter – Have you tried to remove it?
“Yes, and when we did the implant immediately lost power and shut down.  Apparently it is rigged to disable itself if the tooth is removed, so we have to study it while it is in Mr. Hanson’s mouth.”

The FBI has still not been able to decipher the code or locate the origin of the implant.
They have informed The National Reporter they we would be notified when they have learned more about it.
Until then, we will just have to wait.

Breaking news flash!!

Click this link—Mystery of the electronic tooth implant has been solved!

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Banana face wins 75 dollars in local store contest

Albert Dreken (banana face) receiving 75 dollar check from store owner Buck Stilman.

The National Reporter
Albert Dreken has never had much luck in his 19 years until he took a chance and bought a raffle ticket at his local hardware store.
“The ticket cost a dollar, but I had a feeling that I should risk it.”  he told us.  “I don’t know why I had such a carefree attitude that day, but I went for it and I am happy I did.”
The National Reporter – How did you find out that you were the lucky winner?
“They had the drawing two days before I found out that I had won.  No one showed up to claim the prize, so they wrote the winning number on a big piece of cardboard and put it up in the store window.
I was walking by and I figured it wouldn’t hurt to check my ticket to see if it was the winner.”
The National Reporter – What did you do when you discovered that you were the winner?
“I felt pretty good about it.” He said. “I can really use the money.”

Albert Dreken (banana face) felt pretty good about winning the raffle.

The National Reporter – What are you going to do with your winnings?
“I was thinking of maybe putting most of it towards my electric bill and keeping a few dollars tucked away for a rainy day.”
The National Reporter – Perhaps you can take your girlfriend out for a movie and dinner.
“My what?”
The National Reporter – You can invest your money in stocks and bonds. You never know, you might get lucky again.
“I don’t want to push it.” He said. “Just because I won big this time doesn’t mean I will do it again.”

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Mile wide whirlpool appears off NJ coast

Image taken by the space shuttle as it passed over the whirlpool.

The National Reporter
Boaters navigating the coastal waters of New Jersey got the shock of their lives this week when a massive whirlpool began to form a mile out to sea from Seaside Heights.
“It was weird as hell.” Captain Frank Bright told The National Reporter. “We were on a routine trip passing Seaside heights about a mile out at sea when we noticed that our compass was indicating that we were turning in a large circle and heading back in the direction that we had just came. It was very strange. i’ll tell you that. I was holding the ship’s wheel perfectly straight, and we were turning around facing the opposite direction within a few minutes.
After I checked all my instruments I realised that there was nothing wrong with the ship, the ocean was turning in a large circle.”
The National Reporter – Were you being sucked into the vortex of the whirlpool?
“No,..it wasn’t strong enough at that time. It was just starting to become a whirlpool as we were going past. We did however see the surface of the ocean lower into a mile wide circular depression. That was when we decided to high tail it out of there and head back to port.”

The coast guard has issued an emergency warning for all shipping to stay out of the area.
No ships are permitted within twenty miles of the phenomenon which the coast guard has described as a ship swallowing class maelstrom.
The mouth of the vortex is estimated to be a quarter mile wide.
A whirlpool of that size can easily grab hold of the largest ships in the world today and drag them under the surface with very little effort.

Two curious onlookers brave the freezing cold to gaze out at the massive whirlpool from atop a lifeguard stand

Dr. Kevin Terpin of the national oceanic research center has been on the scene studying the whirlpool since it began.
He had agreed to give The National Reporter an exclusive interview.
The National Reporter – Can you tell us what caused this whirlpool and why it is so huge?
“I think I can.” He said. “First we have to examine the ocean currents in the area. We have a strong current coming up from the south that is carrying warm water. That current is colliding with cold water coming down from the north. ordinarily the cold water from the north would have no effect because there is so little of it, but due to all the rain and cold weather we have had this year there is an ample supply.”
The National Reporter – So it was caused by cold water colliding with warm water?
“Exactly. What we are witnessing is an aquatic tornado. The whirlpool has formed exactly like a tornado only with warm water colliding with cold water instead of warm air and cold air.”
The National Reporter – How long do you think it will last?
“A week or two. After that the water will become to chilly to generate the rolling effect that is causing it. It will disappear as suddenly as it appeared.

If you live in the area and would like to see the whirlpool, make sure to dress warm and bring binoculars.
Please obey the local police and by all means, stay out of the water!
Do not try to launch any small craft like kayaks of row boats.
Even though the whirlpool is a mile out at sea, it has the strength to grab your boat a mere hundred feet from shore and drag you out to it.

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