July 3, 2011 Leave a comment
The National Reporter
Actor Danny Bonaduce was invited by friends to go on a week-long gold hunting expedition in Alaska last month.
“It was just something to do, you know, get out in the fresh air and enjoy nature.” He said. “I never expected to find any gold, none of us really did. We just wanted to have a little fun, that’s all.”
The National Reporter– How did you find the gold nugget?
“Well, we were panning for gold along the shoreline for a few hours and I started getting bored and my legs were cramping, so I decided to wade out into the water and look under rocks to see if I could find a gold nugget.”
The National Reporter– Yes, that is where they usually hide.
“I picked up a few rocks to see if any gold was under them when I saw this good sized yellow rock next to some big boulders.
I reached in and picked it up and as soon as I held it up I just froze.
The first thing I thought was that no way in hell this is what it looked like. But then I became aware of how heavy it was.”
The National Reporter– Yes, gold is a very heavy element.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes, I just found a gold nugget that was almost as big as a bowling ball!”
The National Reporter– What was your first reaction?
“I got on my cell phone and called home to tell everyone the good news.
The National Reporter– We understand you had some problems when you returned home. Can you give us details?
“Yeah,..As soon as I got off the plane the ****ing IRS was right there jumping all over me grabbing my luggage and going through my pockets.
They grabbed the satchel with the gold nugget and ripped it open. They literally ripped it open, they didn’t bother to unzip it.”
The National Reporter– Would you say they were like animals tearing apart a carcass?
“I wouldn’t, but you can. They have my name and address.”
The National Reporter– What did they do with the gold nugget when they found it?
“They ran away with it, they just ran away with it. The satchel was still spinning on the ground and they were already gone. It was like being in a cartoon”
The National Reporter – Did you complain to the IRS?
“Sure I did, but they just told me this is how the new economy works and if I don’t like it they will send me to a re-education camp.”
The National Reporter – The new economy is a wonderful thing.
“Yeah,..don’t you just love the change?”
To date, Mr.Bonaduce has not received any information from the IRS concerning his gold nugget.
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