Prehistoric man may have lived like the Flintstones

Prehistoric homes like this may have been a reality in days gone by.

The National Reporter
Archeologists in New Mexico have discovered startling evidence that our prehistoric ancestors may have been more advanced than we previously assumed.
While working on a typical dig in New Mexico, Dr. Jacob Turner from the university of Nebraska uncovered what appears to be a stone wheel that may have been used to cart human beings around in a primitive form of automobile very similar to the automobiles that were used by the Flintsones on the popular Hanna Barbera cartoon show.

Dr.Jacob Turner is shown here with his famou s”Flintstone” wheel close to where it was uncovered.

“I have little doubt that this stone wheel was used to transport primitive people around much in the same way the Flintstones were portrayed in the popular cartoon series.” Dr. Turner told The National Reporter.
“I agree.” His colleague Dr. Femmer added. “We have suspected that prehistoric man was more advanced than previously thought. This is evidenced by the discovery of the monolith in Belize south America a few years ago in the Yucatan peninsula.”

prehistoric monolith discovered in Belize

The National Reporter “Wasn’t there some type of dwelling found around here that was very similar to the Flintstone house?”
“Yes there was, Dr. Turner said. “It was found two miles from our present location in the late 1950’s and may have been the inspiration for the cartoon series.”

Was this prehistoric dwelling the inspiration for the Flintstones cartoon show?

The National Reporter “So what you are saying is the creators of the Flintstones may have borrowed the idea from actual prehistoric artifacts?”
“That is correct.”
The National Reporter “Do you think this discovery will have any effect on how the public views the television series now that it has been established to have been factual?”
“I don’t know.” Dr. Turner replied.
The National Reporter will keep our readers updated on any new developments as this story unfolds.

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The day the circus came to town

1857 photo of the mysterious circus tent


The National Reporter
In the early morning hours of August 1857, the town of New Madrid, Missouri was visited by a small unknown circus.
The people of New Madrid naturally welcomed the small circus and eagerly anticipated the show as they set up their operation on the outskirts of town.
By the end of the day the circus was open for business and the excited locals began arriving.
In no time at all the big top was filled to capacity which much to their displeasure, left a few hundred New Madridians outside waiting for the next show.
The sounds of the ring leader shouting through his megaphone, the performers, the music and all the wild animals echoed out across the big field where the circus had set up their big tent.
And then just as the show was about to end, there was silence.
The ring master, the crowds and the howling animals had all suddenly become hushed.
After a few minutes some of the towns folk walked towards the front entrance to the tent and pulled aside the enclosure to peer inside.
They were greeted by an eerie sight.
There was no one inside.
It was completely empty.
Over four hundred towns people, performers and animals had disappeared off of the face of the Earth on that warm August evening in 1857.

The site was closed down and investigated by the finest detectives of the day looking for a clue as to where all those people disappeared to, but they never found anything.
To this day scientists are still scouring the Earth with ground sounding devices looking for underground caves and secret trap doors.
So far there has been no trace of any such underground caverns that could have been used to spirit so many people away unseen by the hundreds waiting outside of the big tent.
All that remains on the location is a plaque dedicated to the missing.
The bizarre occurence is still one of the most puzzling missing persons mystery in the U.S. to this day.

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Confirmed by the U.S. parks department; Big foot is a homo!

Big scary monster is a fruit.

The National Reporter
While on a routine flight over the heavily wooded terrain of the pacific north west, park rangers photographed what appears to be the infamous big foot engaging in a lascivious act with another male of his species.
“We couldn’t believe what we were seeing.” Ranger Johnson told us. “I saw him first, the big foot that is, walking along a path.
As I positioned my camera in his direction I noticed that something to his left had caught his attention and he slowed down his pace to look at it. After I snapped the first photograph I turned to see what it was.
It was another male Sasquatch about a hundred feet away bent over with his rear end up in the air.”

The big foot was enticed by the other males rear end as he walked past.

“We circled around for another look and by the time we got back the first big foot was standing right behind the bent over big foot and he was,..um,..you know. pleasuring himself as he gazed at the other bigfoots rear end.”

The bent over big foot was pretending not to notice the amorous Sasquatch behind him.


“It was funny because the bent over big foot was pretending like he didn’t know the other one was behind him, he was just picking at the ground.” Ranger Waller said. “There wasn’t anything there, he was just picking at the ground as an excuse for having his rump up in the air like that.”
“Yeah, and the other one liked what he saw.” Ranger Johnson added.
The National Reporter – What happened next?
“Well,..the one standing behind the bent over one just tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around.” Ranger Waller said.”As soon as he saw that he was,..you know,..in an aroused state, he dropped to his knees and began performing oral sex on him.”

The shamless homo big feet didn't care that the two rangers were circling them in their plane watching what they were doing.

“We circled around them for about fifteen minutes, then we had to leave because we were running low on fuel.” Ranger Waller said.
The National Reporter – Do you think that this is an isolated incident or is it possible that all big feet are gay?
“That’s hard to say.” Ranger Johnson said. “We don’t get to see them as often as we would like. And even when we do see them we are forbidden to tell anyone about it.
As you are probably aware, the department of the interior keeps big foot a closely guarded secret. There are actually thousands of them roaming the forests but we are bound by law to remain silent about their existence because of the non-intervention treaty of 1741.”
The National Reporter – The non-intervention treaty of 1741?
“Yes, the secret treaty that the colonists signed with the leaders of the Sasquatch nation. It’s very simple, we don’t mess with them and they don’t mess with us.”
The National Reporter – so, what you are saying is that this story can’t be shared with the public?
“That’s right.”
The National Reporter – I’ll be sure to keep it under wraps then.
“That would be greatly appreciated.” Ranger Waller said. “If the public found out that there where thousands of big feets roaming around the woods it would cause a panic and a lot of resentment towards the government for not saying anything about it.”
The National Reporter -Of course. I’ll keep quiet about the whole thing, you can count on it.

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Ghost captured on video during filming of iCarly episode.

The National Reporter
Cast members of the popular iCarly television series got quite a shock during the filming of their most recent episode entitled, “iGot a Hot Room!”
During one of many takes where Carly Shay, Played by actress Miranda Cosgrove, was supposed to run up stairs to her room and change her jacket, the cameras picked up a strange disturbance behind fellow actor, Jerry Trainor.
The National Reporter interviewed the cast late last week to get their thoughts on the paranormal occurance.
“I did feel a slight drop in temperature while we were taping that scene, especially right when that thing appeared.” Jerry Trainor told us. “I also had a weird feeling that somone was standing behind even though I knew no one there.”
Jerry Trainor plays Carlys older brother, Spencer, on the show.
“I never really believed any of this ghost stuff until I saw the footage, is this for real?” Actress Jennette McCurdy said. “This is really creepy, I’m kind of scared to be here now.”
“I know what you mean.” Miranda Cosgrove added. “Just the idea that there might be a ghost here makes my skin crawl.”
Nathan Kress, who plays Freddie Benson, seemed to be amused at his co-stars frightened reactions to the video.

The cast of iCarly from left to right; Jennette McCurdy, Miranda Cosgrove, Jerry Trainor and Nathan Kress.

“There isn’t anything to be scared about.” He said. “Even if there really is a ghost haunting the place what is it going to do? A ghost can’t hurt you any more than a shadow can hurt you.”
As the cast members discussed Nathans theory on what possible injurys one might incur as a result of being assaulted by a ghost, the head of Nickelodeon studios walked in and stomped over to Dan Schneider, the producer of iCarly.
He seemed angry.
I could hear him sputtering angrily about firing the “treasonous bastard” who leaked the ghost story to the press.
The person who sold the video footage to The National Reporter need not worry about their identity being revealed because The National Reporter is a responsible and highly respected news service whose integrity is above reproach.
This is why we consistantly win the prestigious “seal of Honesty” from the International Reporters Association which we proudly display at the right of this page.
Our #1 goal is bringing top quality news storys to the public on issues that the mainstream press is afraid to report.

Update 8/6/2010: After this footage first aired on The National Reporter website and on our youtube page, several people have come forward claiming that they have seen mysterious occurances in different scenes from iCarly episodes.
It wasn’t until The National Reporter first aired this ghost footage on 8/2/2010 that they realised that they may have been witnessing actual paranormal activity occuring on the set during filming that the cast and crew were unaware of.
We here at The National Reporter will do our best to keep our readers updated on any events concerning the haunting of the iCarly set.

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Hospital error sends human liver to cafeteria

Human liver donated by Palestinian child was rushed all the way from Israel

The National Reporter
A major hospital in the U.S. who’s identity is being withheld by The National Reporter in compliance with a gag order issued by a federal judge, was embarrassed by a terrible error that occurred in the hospital’s receiving department.
A human liver that was donated by a Palestinian youth and flown all the way from Israel for an emergency transplant, was accidentally redirected to the hospital’s cafeteria where it was promptly cooked and served to visitors.
“How the hell were we supposed to know it was a human liver!?” Chef John said angrely.”They are trying to put the full blame on me and my cooking staff,..they are the ones who sent us the damned liver!”

Human liver mistakenly served as a meal to hospital visitors

The National Reporter was refused an interview with the hospitals administration, but we did manage to meet with two of the doctors who were going to perform the emergency transplant.
“We were waiting for the liver for hours.” Doctor Brimwell said.”the pilot of the private jet that was flying the liver in from Israel kept us updated every fifteen minutes on his location and estimated time of arrival. When he made his last transmission he told us that he had landed and the liver had been placed in an emergency vehicle and was on its way to the hospital.”
The National Reporter -What happened next?
“Nothing happened.” his colleague Dr. Whanbana said. “We waited and waited but the liver never arrived.

Two frustrated and very angry Doctors. Brimwell on the left and Whanbana on the right.

“An hour after the liver left the airport we suspected that something was wrong, we assumed the ambulance got into an accident so we called the local police.” Doctor Brimwell explained. “The police told us that there had been no accidents involving an ambulance.”
“I checked downstairs to see if it was being held up by someone who was unaware of the urgency of the delivery, but no one knew anything about it.” Doctor Whanbana said.
“Then a dock worker told me a package arrived an hour earlier that said ‘Liver’ on it and it was sent to the kitchen. My heart sank when he told me that because I knew then what had happened, I just hoped that it wasn’t too late.”
“unfortunately we were too late.” Dr.Brimwell sighed. “If only we had waited on the delivery dock all of this would have been diverted.”
The National Reporter – So what happened to the liver?
“It was chopped up and cooked with onions and served to a gentleman and his wife who were visiting a sick friend. They had no idea that they were eating a human liver, in fact they even complimented the chef.”
The National Reporter – What happened to the patient who was waiting for the liver?
“He’s back on the dialysis machine waiting for another liver donor.” Dr. Whanbana said.” But our sources in Israel have informed us that another young Palestinian boy is eager to save the life of our patient and is willing to do what ever is necessary to save him.”

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Ancient Martian building may have been a brothel

Ancient martian building first photographed in 1987 may have been used as a house of ill repute millions of years ago by Martians.

 

The National Reporter
The famous ruins that were first discovered and photographed on Mars way back in 1987 may reveal some clues to the nature of the civilisation that built it.
Scientific data accumulated from the photographs and from recent discoverys indicate that the building was in the center of Martian activity much in the same way that brothels dominated frontier boom towns in the U.S.
It has been suggested that ancient Martians worked as miners in the nearby mountains and they may have spent their earnings in the local house of prostitution just like miners did on Earth in the 1800’s.
“They were very much like us.” Doctor George Westly of The National Institute of ancient studies told us.
“The ancient Martian men would go to work in the nearby mountains toiling underground for hours on end and at the end of the week they would reward themselves with a trip to the local bawdy house just like their human counterparts on Earth.”
Although Dr.Westlys theory has attracted the attention of a public eager to delve into what could be a lascivious past of the long extinct Martian race, it has also drawn quite a bit of criticism from the scientific community.
“Westly is an idiot, plain and simple.” Professor Alex Cantone huffed. “A martian whorehouse? Bah,..rubbish!” 

Close up of the suspected den of iniquity nestled in the hills of the Martian landscape.

 

Dr.Westly has defended his Martian bordello theory at several scientific seminars across the globe in recent months.
“I don’t understand why my colleagues are having such a hard time believing the truth about the ancient Martians.” He told us. “I don’t understand why they can’t just accept the fact that these were ordinary people with ordinary needs just like us.
Why do they have to embrace the silly image of Martians being super intelligent and advanced?
People who think that way have watched way too many science fiction movies.” 

For now the Martian cat house theory is still being discussed within scientific circles but not taken seriously, much to the dismay of Dr. Westly.
“I will take this to the public and present all of my evidence that this was a brothel.” he said. “The truth will not be denied and I will show the world.” 

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Censors move at light speed to remove UFO from Google Earth

 

Strange disc shaped object on the ground in a remote area of Canada

The National Reporter
Google Earth has once again been caught removing the image of a suspected UFO from their famous mapping program.
In the photograph above, a disc shaped object is clearly seen on the ground in this isolated region of Canada.

A second photograph of the landing site was taken a day later and quickly used to replace the original image.

The suspected UFO in the photograph above was in Google Earths data base on April 14 when it was first spotted by a North Carolina man who immediatly posted it on the internet.
The image was quickly removed within 24 hours of his discovery by Google Earths special censorship team.
The area in question can be viewed by typing these coordinates into Google Earths search window.
54 12’56.76N    106 00’52.12″W

If anyone doubts that Google Earth has removed the image and replaced it with one showing no UFO, you can see it for yourself.

UFO’s have become such a problem for Google Earth that they had to assemble a special censorship team who’s sole purpose is to scan all the new images for any signs of extra-terrestrial space craft.
In the past, actual UFO images have appeared on Google Earth much to the dismay of certain government agencys which because of national security, The National Reporter is forbidden to name.
Google Earths censorship team has also been instrumental in debunking other alleged images of UFO’s that turned out to be common objects such as round buildings and radio antennas.

Top: an unidentified flying object that was quickly removed by Google Earth.Bottom: What appears to be a classical flying saucer is nothing more than a round pump building in Romania.

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