Man finds ancient rock in his back yard

Ancient rock is estimated to be worth several million dollars

By Scoop Brown

The National Reporter
A Vermont man made an astounding discovery this weekend while digging a hole in his back yard.
He uncovered an ancient rock that may be thousands of years old.
“I couldn’t believe my ****ing eyes when I dug the ****ing thing up.” Ned Tully told The National Reporter
“When I ****ing found it I ran into the ****ing house an showed it to my ****ing wife, she nearly **** herself when she ****ing saw what I was ****ing holding in my ****ing hands!”
The National Reporter- This is indeed a remarkable find.
Ned Tully- You bet your ****ing *** it’s a remarkable ****ing find!
The ****ing scientist I showed it to at the ****ing state university examined it for a few ****ing days and when he was ****ing finished he told me that the ****ing rock was older than the ****ing pyramids!”

Mr.Tully held the rock up to my face and exclaimed excitedly, “This ****ing rock was a ****ing rock before the ****ing pyramids were the ****ing pyramids!”

After that he took us out to his backyard and showed us the hole he dug where the rock was discovered.
His friend Steve was down at the bottom of the hole looking up at us when we peered down.
“ That’s my ****ing friend Steve down there.” he said.
“Hey Steve, what the **** are you doing down in the ****ing hole?”
Steve looked up at us and squinted in the light.
“I’m taking a ****, what does it look like?”

“I’m taking a **** Steve called back from the deep hole in Ned Tully’s backyard.

“ This is the ****ing guy from the ****ing National Reporter I ****ing told you about.
He’s here about  the ****ing rock I ****ing found down there.  Are you almost ****ing done ****ing?”
“Just about.” Steve answered.
“Steve was running the ****ing back hoe when we found the ****ing rock.” Ned told me.
“My son took a ****ing picture of us digging the ****ing hole.”
“This is ****ing Steve lowering me down into the ****ing hole with his ****ing backhoe.”

Ned Tully is seen here being lowered down into the hole by his friend Steve the backhoe operator.

The National Reporter- Now Mr.Tully, you claim that this ancient rock you found is valued at one million dollars.
“Yeah,..That’s what I ****ing want for it and not a penny less”
The National Reporter- Oh I see, so the one million dollar price tag is what you are asking for it?”
“Yeah,..That’s right.”
The National Reporter- I was under the impression that the geologist who had examined the rock placed the value at one million dollars.
“Nah,..he just told how ****ing old it was, so I ****ing figured it has to be worth at least a ****ing million dollars, maybe even more.”
Just then his friend Steve popped his head up from the hole.
“That was a pretty big **** I took down there, you better wait a little while before you go down there. It stinks.”
The National Reporter- have you had any offers yet?
“Well, I put a ****ing ad in the ****ing  newspaper, but so far no one has ****ing  answered it.
I figure I should ****ing  make a ****ing  television commercial.
I know someone will ****ing  fork over a million for the ****ing  rock if they see it on ****ing  TV.”
The National Reporter- Well,..you never know. People blow their money on really stupid things these days.
“Yeah,..people are ****ing ***holes” Ned laughed.

If anyone is interested in owning this valuable piece of ancient history you can bid for it right here in our comment section.
Just write down your name and address with your credit card number and place your bid.
You better hurry because this item wont last!

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