April 5, 2011 Leave a comment
The National Reporter
Harry Lundgarten, the man who wowed the judges at the international flower show two years ago with his amazing eyeball flower, is once again striving for the unique and unusual with his incredible South American fece’s tree.
“I got this beauty last summer when it was still a seedling, look how big it got since then!”
The tree had grown from a four-foot seedling into a full blooming thirty foot tall monster in his front yard.
“He has some nerve growing that disgusting thing in his front yard like that.” Angry neighbor Jim Gummly said.
“That is no ordinary tree.” He grunted. “For Gods sake, it drops poop all over the place and it stinks to high heaven!”
Actually it doesn’t really drop poop, it drops thick brown globs of sap during the spring that resembles human feces because of the color, shape and pungent odor.
People walking past the tree should be careful or they may end up with a wad on their heads as the tree seems to lie in wait for a victim.
“Two years ago Harry became the town hero when he won first prize at the international flower show with his weird flowers with the eye balls.” Mary Timms told us.
“Back then we all admired him even though his flowers gave everyone the creeps. The damned eye ball followed you everywhere.” Mary told us. “At least they didn’t stink the whole town up like this damned tree.”
Kathelene Waters was steaming mad when The National Reporter went to her house to get her opinion on the tree.
“I parked my car in front of the tree for five minutes while I was running an errand for a friend, and look what the damned thing did!”
“Harry better do something about that damned tree.” she said “Or one day he’s going to wake up and find a stump on his front lawn.”
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