Man finds ancient rock in his back yard

Ancient rock is estimated to be worth several million dollars

Ancient rock is estimated to be worth several million dollars

The National Reporter
A Vermont man made an astounding discovery this weekend while digging a hole in his back yard.
He uncovered an ancient rock that may be thousands of years old.
“I couldn’t believe my ****ing eyes when I dug the ****ing thing up.” Ned Tully told The National Reporter
“When I ****ing found it I ran into the ****ing house an showed it to my ****ing wife, she nearly **** herself when she ****ing saw what I was ****ing holding in my ****ing hands!”
The National Reporter- This is indeed a remarkable find.
Ned Tully- You bet your ****ing *** it’s a remarkable ****ing find!
The ****ing scientist I showed it to at the ****ing state university examined it for a few ****ing days and when he was ****ing finished he told me that the ****ing rock was older than the ****ing pyramids!”

Mr.Tully held the rock up to my face and exclaimed excitedly, “This ****ing rock was a ****ing rock before the ****ing pyramids were the ****ing pyramids!”

After that he took us out to his backyard and showed us the hole he dug where the rock was discovered.
His friend Steve was down at the bottom of the hole looking up at us when we peered down.
That’s my ****ing friend Steve down there.” he said.
“Hey Steve, what the **** are you doing down in the ****ing hole?”
Steve looked up at us and squinted in the light.
“I’m taking a ****, what does it look like?”

Going to the bathroom

“I’m taking a **** Steve called back from the deep hole in Ned Tully’s backyard.

This is the ****ing guy from the ****ing National Reporter I ****ing told you about.
He’s here about  the ****ing rock I ****ing found down there.  Are you almost ****ing done ****ing?”
“Just about.” Steve answered.
“Steve was running the ****ing back hoe when we found the ****ing rock.” Ned told me.
“My son took a ****ing picture of us digging the ****ing hole.”
“This is ****ing Steve lowering me down into the ****ing hole with his ****ing backhoe.”

Whoopie!

Ned Tully is seen here being lowered down into the hole by his friend Steve the backhoe operator.

The National Reporter- Now Mr.Tully, you claim that this ancient rock you found is valued at one million dollars.
“Yeah,..That’s what I ****ing want for it and not a penny less”
The National Reporter- Oh I see, so the one million dollar price tag is what you are asking for it?”
“Yeah,..That’s right.”
The National Reporter- I was under the impression that the geologist who had examined the rock placed the value at one million dollars.
“Nah,..he just told how ****ing old it was, so I ****ing figured it has to be worth at least a ****ing million dollars, maybe even more.”
Just then his friend Steve popped his head up from the hole.
“That was a pretty big **** I took down there, you better wait a little while before you go down there. It stinks.”
The National Reporter- have you had any offers yet?
“Well, I put a ****ing ad in the ****ing  newspaper, but so far no one has ****ing  answered it.
I figure I should ****ing  make a ****ing  television commercial.
I know someone will ****ing  fork over a million for the ****ing  rock if they see it on ****ing  TV.”
The National Reporter- Well,..you never know. People blow their money on really stupid things these days.
“Yeah,..people are ****ing ***holes” Ned laughed.

If anyone is interested in owning this valuable piece of ancient history you can bid for it right here in our comment section.
Just write down your name and address with your credit card number and place your bid.
You better hurry because this item wont last!

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Ringo Starr speaks out about 7th Beatle, Billy Moore.

(Left) Ringo Starr (Right) Billy Moore

The National Reporter

Two years after The National Reporter  Investigated the claims of Billy Moore who insists he was the Beatles accordion  player during their early years,  we were invited to meet with former Beatle Ringo Starr to hear his side of the story.

The National Reporter interviews 7th Beatle, Billy Moore

The National Reporter – Hello Mister Starr, it is an honor to meet you.
Ringo Starr- Hello Mister Flashman,  I have been an avid fan of your splendid web news service since it began a few years ago and it is an honor to become a part of The National Reporter family.
The National Reporter – Thank you, we interviewed your former band mate Paul McCartney two years ago.
Ringo Starr- I know, Paul phoned me immediately after his interview with you.
He was all excited and talking a mile a minute about being in a story that was to be featured in The National Reporter.
I didn’t believe him at first,  but he kept talking excitedly about how he met Ace Flashman from  The National Reporter and he was just at his house in person.
He was carrying on and on about how he had been interviewed by a news service that had won awards for excellence in journalism, so I had to believe he was telling the truth.
The National Reporter –Yes, we have won the International Reporters Association award for Honesty, Integrity and Truth a third time since we interviewed Paul.
Ringo Starr- – That is very impressive, very impressive indeed.
The National Reporter –– Of course it is very difficult to win such an award.
We have to sift through thousands of stories each week separating true stories from made up stories.
You would be appalled at the completely silly made up stories we receive.
We pride our selves on our truthfulness and we would never ever post a made up silly story on this site, especially within view of our three IRA awards.
Ringo Starr- – That is why your news site is so reliable.
If it’s in The National Reporter you can trust the truth and integrity of the story.
The National Reporter –– That’s true.
Ringo Starr- -And I wouldn’t say it if I in any way doubted the validity of the The National Reporter.
The National Reporter –– Of course you wouldn’t.

The National Reporter –– Now Mister Starr, as you know we have already spoken to Paul McCartney about Billy Moore and his claim to have been a member of the Beatles.
What do you know about him?
Ringo Starr- – He was daft, a real kook. He used to shadow us where ever we went.
He was already irritating Pete Best before I joined the Beatles.
He would climb on stage and stand between him and his drums blocking his access to the whole right side of his drum kit while playing his accordion.
He was a real pest.
I remember when The Beatles were playing in Germany one night and out of nowhere Billy popped up on stage from behind Pete and got between him and his drums and he bumped into him ruining his piece.
Pete took his drum stick and jammed it into his leg as hard as he could.
Billy immediately dropped his accordion and fell face first onto his drum kit.
The guys stopped playing and turned around with shocked looks on their faces.
A second later two bouncers jumped on staged and dragged him off.
That was the last time we saw him until we got back to Liverpool and we were playing at the Cavern club.
The National Reporter –– How did this all begin with him, why did he think he was one of the Beatles?
Ringo Starr –– That was kind of Johns fault.
I was still with Rory at the time and I was in a club sitting at a table when John and Paul came in to ask me if I wanted to join the Beatles.
Billy Moore was walking around the tables playing his accordion.
I remember the agonized looks on John and Paul’s faces when they saw who it was.
I could hear Paul groaning something that sounded like, “Oh no,.. it’s the accordion ass hole who wants to join the band.”
Just as I began talking to them, Billy Moore came over and started playing his accordion.
They were trying to talk to me but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Finally John shouted over his accordion,”We want you to join the Beatles.”
As soon as he said that, Billy’s face lit up with a big smile.
He thought John was asking him to join the Beatles.
The National Reporter –– So it was a mistake?
Ringo Starr- – Yes, he really thought John was talking to him.
None of us were aware of the mistake until he began showing up at our gigs expecting to play.
The National Reporter –– Didn’t anyone explain to him that it was a mistake and he wasn’t in the band?
Ringo Starr- – Every time he showed up we would tell him he wasn’t in the band.
Brian told him over and over.
Every time he showed up he would have security toss him out.
He was arrested a few times then he just stopped coming around.
The last I heard he was going around telling everyone that he wrote all our songs and we stole them from him.
Then I heard he was trying to sneak back stage at one of the Rolling Stones gigs.
The National Reporter –– How long did he stalk them?
Ringo Starr- – Not long. By the time he began pestering them they were already big enough to have a strong security presence back stage and he couldn’t get past them.
The National Reporter –– well, Thank you Mister Starr.
I am sure our readers will be interested learning about this small bit of unknown history of the Beatles.
Ringo Starr- – It is an honor having the opportunity to share this story in The National Reporter with all of your esteemed readers.

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Kim Jong Un livid after vandalism!

After months of tense stand-offs with the United States over the flying penis crisis, the slowly brewing peace process has come to a lurching halt with renewed hostilities in a flurry of screaming and window smashing from the office of Kim Jong Un, North Korea’s permanent tyrannical despot.

After months of diplomatic maneuvering including the exchange of money,prostitutes and weapons courtesy of the Obama administration, it has been revealed to The National Reporter that the U.S. government hasn’t been as effective in dealing with North Korea’s Dear Leaders as one American motorcycle gang.
After learning about the flying penis crisis from reading the exclusive story here in The National Reporter The feared “Asphalt Avengers M.C.” decided to lean on the despot their own way.

Asphalt Avengers M.C.

The feared Asphalt Avengers M.C. is seen here in front of their clubhouse. They are simultaneously “Flipping the bird” at Kim Jong Un in a defiant act of disrespect for the North Korean leader.

Dear Leader, Kim Jong Un spoke to The National Reporter in his usual manner.
We met with him on a cold rainy morning next to the huge wall that was constructed by his grandfather to keep out the decadent Westerners and their enticing products.
The National Reporter – Hello,..Kim Jong Un,..are you there?
We waited for a few minutes for a reply, but there was none.
The National Reporter – Oh great leader who created the heaven and the Earth,..will you speak with us humble peasants?
We waited a few more minutes then a voice called out from the other side of the wall.
Kim Jong Un – Who there,.. What you want?
The National Reporter – Is that you dear leader?
Kim Jong Un – Who want to know,..what you selling?
The National Reporter – We are not trying to sell anything.
We are from the National Reporter. We want to ask you about the recent problem you had with the American motorcycle gang, The Asphalt Avengers.
Kim Jong Un – Those guys mess with wrong guy!
The National Reporter – Yes,..Can you tell us what they did that has angered you so much?

We waited a few minutes as Kim Jong Un spoke to his huddled advisors.
Unfortunately none of us can understand North Korean so everything they were saying was Greek to us.
After a few minutes Kim Jong Un called over to us.
Kim Jong Un – Hey,..you still there?
The National Reporter – Yes,..we are still here. Can you tell us what the Asphalt Avengers did that has made you walk away from the flying penis peace table in a fit of rage?
Kim Jong Un – O.K., I tell you.

It was at this point in our meeting that one of our staff members was able to sneak a peek through a crack in the wall and for brief second he was able to see the tyrannical despot.
He was sitting in a throne carried by several army soldiers.
He was grossly over weight and completely naked except for a yellow rain hat.
He had paused speaking for a few seconds as he stuffed a McDonald’s cheeseburger into his mouth.
Kim Jong Un – Those bastards,..those contemptible bastards!
They vandalized the great golden robot statues of Pyongyang!
The National Reporter – Do you mean the statues of your father and grandfather?
Kim Jong Un – Look what they did!
We waited a few seconds, then we spotted a photograph that was being pushed through a crack in the wall.
After a few seconds it finally fell to the ground on our side.
When we picked it up and saw what it was, we were shocked.

Horrific scene at Kim memorial

The notorious Asphalt Avengers M.C. desecrated one of North Korea’s most sacred sites with this obscene statue that the motorcycle ruffians dubbed, “Micky Dick.” The North Koreans are infuriated and threatening war with the United States.

The National Reporter – Are you saying the Asphalt Avengers M.C. erected a huge statue of Micky mouse in between the great golden statues of Pyongyang?
How were they able to do this without anyone seeing them?
Kim Jong Un – How I know? I not know how they did this, they did it and we mad as hell!
The National Reporter – Why don’t you just lift it out with a crane and carry it away?
Kim Jong Un – We no can do. Asphalt Avengers very clever.
You look at photograph we give you.
Right hand of big mouse is welded to grandfather and ear is welded to father.
To make really hard remove, mouse is bolted to concrete with twenty foot long bolts made of titanium. We no have technology to cut titanium.

The National Reporter – Well that sucks.
Kim Jong Un – Yes,..is sucks.

When we got back to the U.S. we contacted the infamous Asphalt Avengers M.C.
They were not repentant for their crimes against the peoples republic of North Korea.
On the contrary, they thought what they did was funny.
We even showed them the photograph given to us by Kim Jong Un himself and they passed it around to their kids.
They were all laughing, it was disgusting.
Hopefully the mass media will continue to keep this vile act blacked out from the public like they have been doing with all the rapes and murders occurring across Europe by the unmentionables.

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NASA Scientists confirm, Aliens can perform self rectal exams

NASA artist redition of a space alien performing a self rectal examination.

NASA computer image of a space alien performing a self rectal examination.

The National Reporter
For years people have been claiming that they had been taken aboard alien space craft and given rectal exams by space creatures.
These reports have always been dismissed as shear nonsense until NASA scientists discovered a species of aliens who apparently have a cultural anal fixation.
“It could be the reason why they have such long necks.” An un-named NASA scientist told us.
NASA scientist – “Their long swan like necks could have evolved as a result of their anal fixation from constantly trying to see their own anuses.
Over centuries of trying, their necks began to adapt and get longer to accommodate their obsession.” He said.
The National Reporter – So in your opinion, does this shed some credibility on all the people who have claimed that they had been taken aboard alien space ships and had their rectums examined?
NASA scientist – “I would not jump to conclusions, most people who make such claims are retards or loners just looking for attention. But we can’t rule them all out.”
The National Reporter – What if I told you that I had such an encounter, would you believe me?
NASA scientist – “Most certainly.” He said. “You are The National Reporters star journalist, so naturally you are telling the truth.
Everyone knows that The National Reporter is a two time recipient of the International Reporters Association’s coveted Seal Of Honesty in reporting award.”
The National Reporter – That is correct. We are compelled to tell the truth, unlike the notorious tabloids who make up stories just to make money.
NASA scientist – “That is true, the tabloids make up the most ridiculous stories I have ever read.” He said. “Some of them are so stupid and they never try to explain how they occurred, which naturally makes them suspect as to their authenticity. They sound like something a bored writer was just making up as he was typing. It makes me sick”
The National Reporter – I agree, total nonsense.
NASA scientist – “Absolutely.” he said.

The National Reporter – Now doctor, how did you come to the conclusion that these space creatures can perform such a difficult task like this?
NASA scientist – “We figured it out.” He explained.
The National Reporter – I see, that is very enlightening.
NASA scientist – “Yes,..most people would agree.”
The National Reporter – But then there are the doubting Thomas’s who would scoff at your findings.
NASA scientist – “Yes, there are always the non-believers despite the over whelming evidence of our research.”
The National Reporter – Well thank you doctor, this has been quite an interesting interview.
After the interview was over we got in our cars and drove away.

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Storage wars; Brandi Passante finds fully functional death ray in storage locker

Brandi Passante seen here with her family posing for a photograph

Brandi Passante seen here with her family smiling at some guy with a camera

The National Reporter
Brandi Passante, the suave business woman and reality tv star who, along with her husband Jarrod, made a very unusual find this past week.
After out bidding the auction crowd for a storage locker that contained an unopened crate inside that had been sealed since 1951, they were shocked when they opened the musty old wooden crate and discovered an aluminum case inside.
When they opened the aluminum case they discovered that they had just purchased one (1) unused experimental death ray built by the U.S. air force that was to be used in the Korean war but had mysteriously disappeared before it could be deployed to that conflict.
The National Reporter went to their store to learn more about their astonishing discovery.

The National Reporter – Hello Brandi and Jarrod. My name is Ace Flashman. I am a reporter for The National Reporter.
Brandi – There is no need to introduce yourself Mr. Flashman. My husband Jarrod and I are avid readers of your wonderful and informative website.
The National Reporter –why thank you. We try our best to keep our loyal readers up to date with the latest stories from around the nation and the world.
Brandi – Of course, and we like The National Reporter for its truthfulness and highly informative articles and because you are a two time recipient of the coveted International reporters association award for truth, honesty and integrity in journalism.
The National Reporter –Yes, we are very proud of that fact.
Jarrod – I was really intrigued with your article about the man who discovered the electronic implant in his tooth and he had no idea where it came from.
The follow up story that solved the mystery was quite an eye opener.
I would never have guessed the solution on my own.
The National Reporter – Yes, many of our readers were curious about the origin and purpose of the implant and were very pleased when we did our follow up report and gave them the answer as to what it was and how it got there.
Brandi – We were both shocked and stunned when we found out the solution.
The National Reporter – As were many of our readers I am sure.
Now lets move onto the fascinating discovery your two made the other day at a storage locker auction.
We understand that you found some sort of experimental weapon or device?
Brandi –It’s a death ray.
Jarrod – Yeah,..a death ray.We are pretty sure it’s a death ray.
The National Reporter –What did you think when you found it?
Brandi –We opened the crate and there was this ray gun inside all packed up in Styrofoam. I thought it was a kids toy.
Jarrod –I thought it was a toy too. We couldn’t understand why it was wrapped up so carefully and then we saw the USAF markings on the crate and we knew then that there was more to this than we thought.
Brandi –I took the gun out first and I pressed a button on the top and it started humming.
Then a little green light came on and I pointed it down the street and pulled the trigger.
It made a really deep bass sound for a second then it stopped and began humming again.

Look what I found!

Look what I found!


The National Reporter – What happened after that?
Brandi – A few minutes later we heard the fire trucks going by heading up the street where I pointed the death ray.
There was a huge cloud of black smoke billowing up in the distance.
Jarrod – That was when we decided to pack everything up and get out of there.
The National Reporter –Where is the death ray now?
Brandi- We still have it. I want to sell it, but Jarrod wants to keep it.
The National Reporter –What on Earth do you want to keep such a dangerous weapon like that?
Jarrod –Come on,..seriously? It’s a freaking death ray!
Brandi-It’s a dangerous weapon.
Jarrod –That may be true, but come on. It’s a freaking death ray. How cool is that?
Brandi shook her head and walked out of the room.
Two minutes later this reporter and Jarrod were out behind the shop melting an abandoned car with the death ray.
I offered him one hundred thousand dollars for it but he said no way.

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Billy Moore, the 7th Beatle speaks out.

One time Beatle Billy Moore breaks his silence after fifty years and talks about his time with the fab four.

One time Beatle Billy Moore breaks his silence after fifty years and talks about his time with the fab four.

The National Reporter
Billy Moore, who was once known as the 7th Beatle has agreed to emerge from his obscure life as a street musician and talk openly with The National Reporter about his time with the Beatles and the unfair treatment he has received from the media regarding his contribution to the band.
This reporter caught up with the seventy four year old Billy Moore as he sat on a street corner in Whilshire England knocking out a few rock and roll rhythms on his legendary accordion.
The National Reporter – Hello Billy, My name is Ace Flashman. I am a reporter for the National Reporter.
Billy Moore –“Hi Ace, I understand you have a few questions you would like to ask me about my time with the Beatles.”
The National Reporter – Yes, When were you with them and how long did you perform with them?
Billy Moore –“Well,..let me see.” He said. “I remember playing with them when Pete Best was the drummer. So I guess it was before Ringo joined the group.”
The National Reporter – You are of course referring to Ringo Starr the famous drummer.
Billy Moore –“Yes,..that’s the one. Ringo Starr. He was the drummer after Pete Best.”
The National Reporter –Yes, he was. And what instrument did you play?
Billy Moore –“well, I played this right here, my accordion. I was the Beatles accordion player.”
The National Reporter –I don’t recall ever hearing a Beatle song with an accordion in it.
Billy Moore –“They cut all my music out, those bastards.”
The National Reporter – Who cut it out, the Beatles?
Billy Moore –“The Beatles and the producers.” He grumped. “They cut all my best stuff out. Hell, I was the most popular Beatle. All the girls used to rush the stage shouting, Billy! Billy!”
The National Reporter – Is that so?
Billy Moore –“Of course it is, you scrawny pencil necked geek. How do you think they got so famous?”
The National Reporter – Because of their music and their new look?
Billy Moore –“No, you dumb little pigeon fart, It was because of me!” He said angrily. “I’m the one who got that whole screaming thing started with the girls. Not them.”

The National Reporter –I see, and why did they dismiss you from the band?
Billy Moore –“They didn’t dismiss me, I quit on the ungrateful bastards because they never gave me any credit for all the work I did to get them to the top.”
The National Reporter – All your work?
Billy Moore –“Yes, I wrote all their hit songs. I wrote she loves you and I wanna hold your hand, not them! They took my songs and wrote their names on them then they kicked me out.”
The National Reporter – I find that hard to believe.
Billy Moore –“Well believe it you little shit, I’m not making it up.”
The National Reporter – I still find it very difficult to believe.
Billy Moore – “Awwww,…PPPppBbbbppppptttt to you , ya bastard!”

After my interview with Billy Moore I decided to investigate the story from another perspective so I looked up Paul McCartney and paid him a visit.
The National Reporter – Hello Mr.McCartney, My name is Ace Flashman. I am a reporter for The National Reporter. I am here today to ask you a few questions about a former member of the Beatles.”
Paul McCartney – “Oh, The National Reporter you say? I love the The National Reporter because of their interesting stories and in depth reporting and the fact that they won the International Reporters association award for truth, honesty and integrity in journalism two years in a row.”
The National Reporter – Yes, we do pride our selves on that achievement. Not many news services have won it since it began right about the same time that the National Reporter launched it’s internet based news service.
Paul McCartney –“Yes, it must have been a great honor to be the recipients of one of their very first awards for Truthfulness, Honesty and Integrity in Journalism.”
The National Reporter –Yes, yes it was a great honor.
Paul McCartney –“And it will be a great honor answering any questions you have about the Beatles.” Paul said.

Paul McCartney was happy to answer all of the questions we asked about the Beatles and Billy Moore.

Paul McCartney was happy to answer all of the questions we asked about the Beatles and Billy Moore.

The National Reporter –Well, thank you Paul.
Paul McCartney –“No, thank you for the honor and privilege of inviting me to talk to you and allowing me to become a part of The National Reporters long and illustrious history of truthful and honest reporting.”
The National Reporter – A short time ago I was speaking to a gentleman named Billy Moore who claimed that he was the seldom talked about 7th Beatle.”
Paul McCartney –“Hmm,. I do seem to recall a rather eccentric fellow who used to shadow us. He would turn up at our early gigs with his accordion in hand expecting to play as if he was part of the group. Is that the fellow you are talking about?”
The National Reporter –I believe so, Yes I am certain that is the fellow I was talking to a short time ago.
Paul McCartney –“Oh sure, I remember him.” Paul told me. “Everywhere we went he would show up with his accordion. Even when we went to play in Germany in the early years when we were still struggling he would show up.
We would be on stage playing a song when all of a sudden an accordion would break in and start playing the song. We would turn and there was Billy Moore standing behind us on stage playing his damned accordion.”
The National Reporter –He told me that he was the 7th Beatle and that he was the one who got the girls to start screaming. He also said that he wrote I want to hold you hand and she loves you, the Beatles first two big hits in the states.
Paul McCartney –“Rubbish, pure rubbish. He was daft, a real pest, nothing more. He followed us everywhere. We finally had to get an order from a magistrate to bar him from our concerts. He was arrested four times for ignoring it.”
The National Reporter –I see, He didn’t tell me that. He said you and the other Beatles kicked him out after you stole his songs and took credit for them.
Paul McCartney –“Billy Moore was a bit of a character. I remember when we were just starting out and we were doing some publicity shots around some old junk cars. It was the four of us with our instruments when all of a sudden he popped up from out of nowhere and stood between me and Ringo holding that damned accordion.”
The National Reporter – Yes, I have that photograph and I will post it on The National Reporters web page when I publish this story.

From left to right, Paul McCartney, Billy Moore, Ringo Starr, John Lennon and George Harrison.

From left to right, Paul McCartney, Billy Moore, Ringo Starr, John Lennon and George Harrison.

Paul McCartney –“Billy Moore was a nut. A real head job.” Paul said. “We finally got away from him when he was committed for attacking a police man during one of our concerts when we returned from our first trip to the states.
That was when Beatlemania was in full swing.
The National Reporter – What happened?
Paul McCartney –“He tried to sneak into one of our concerts dressed like a teenage girl.” he said. “One of the police officers spotted a rather ;large bulge under his dress and pulled him aside to question him. He thought it might be a bomb or something. When they searched him they found his accordion strapped to his waist. He admitted that he was going to jump on stage and start playing it with us.”
The National Reporter – Well, thank you for your time Paul.
Paul McCartney –“Thank you for the opportunity to become a part of The National Reporters family. It was an honor doing this interview with you.”
The National Reporter – Don’t mention it.
Paul McCartney –“Oh by the way,..you didn’t tell Billy Moore where I lived did you?
The National Reporter – Ha,ha,ha. So long Mr. McCartney.

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North Korean floating penis crisis heating up

The National Reporter

More threats are emerging from behind the 38th parallel as North Korea’s tyrannical despot Kim Jong Un steps up  his threat to launch a floating penis over the U.S. in retaliation for the mysterious floating penis that was first seen over Pittsburgh Pennsylvania and first reported right here on the National Reporter.
This video was smuggled out of that communist dictatorship at great risk to The National Reporters spy network that is operating inside of North Korea and head quartered in that country’s capital a mere two blocks from the home of Kim Jong Un.

It is rumored that the U.S. is building up air defenses along the west coast and are prepared to engage any flying objects floating in from the direction of North Korea.
There are also several reports from unidentified sources that the U.S. may be building a floating penis balloon nearly a mile long in the Nevada desert.
If these reports are true, the U.S. and North Korea may be headed to a dire impasse in diplomatic relations.

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