April 15, 2014 1 Comment
The National Reporter
TSA officers across the country are livid over the new X-ray glasses they have been issued that enable them to see right through clothing making it unnecessary for them to continue the practice of searching people with their hands.
“This sucks.” a TSA officer at JFK told us. “Why can’t we just go on checking the people the way we have been doing it, with our hands?”
The National Reporter – But isn’t it easier to search people with the new X-ray glasses?
“Well, yea. But it isn’t as much fun as the old way where we got to make sure the person wasn’t carrying a weapon.”
The National Reporter– Why is that?
The TSA agent nervously cleared his throat as his eyes darted around the room.
“I don’t know, It was just better.” He said.
“Now we can check the people without touching them.”another TSA agent said. “These x-ray glasses ruined this job for us.”
The National Reporter – They ruined your job? How did they do that?
“The X-ray glasses ruined our job because, ummm,.” He stammered. “They just did, that’s all. No one should feel safe when they get on the plane now thanks to these damned X-ray glasses.”
The National Reporter – But now you can see at a glance without even touching anyone if they have a weapon on them.
“I don’t trust them.” a TSA Sargent explained. “Maybe the terrorists will invent a new type of invisible hang gun or knife or something. If they do how will we be able to detect them without feeling people up for a weapon?”
“Hey yeah,..that’s right. How would we be able to see some sort of invisible terrorist weapon with X-ray glasses?” Another TSA officer asked.
The National Reporter – So you are concerned that terrorist are going to invent invisible weapons and sneak them right past you because your won’t be able to see them with your x-ray glasses?
“Umm,.. O.K. I mean,.. yeah, that’s right.” The Sargent said. “It is necessary to feel for weapons that may be undetectable with these silly x-ray glasses.
“I agree.” Another TSA agent said. “I would feel a lot better if I knew for sure that no one was sneaking anything invisible and dangerous on board the planes.”
“One thing that really angers me about these new x-ray glasses. Sex perverts will love these things because they can see right through clothing.”
The National Reporter -That’s right, but how would they get a hold of them?
“They would steal them us.” The Sargent said.
“Or buy them from,.. I mean yeah,.. they would steal them from us.” the other TSA agent said.