Infamous Cootie doctor arrested!

Frank Loogar

Frank Loogar, the infamous cootie doctor taken into custody by sheriffs officers.

The National Reporter

For decades the infamous Cootie doctor of Heathcliff elementary school has avoided justice,
Dodging the law sometimes by mere by seconds, Frank Loogar (AKA, Frankie Loogar) spent most of his life in hiding.
It all began when he was in the first grade at Heathcliff elementary school.
A new girl had moved into the neighborhood and her patents enrolled her at Heathciff elementary.
Naturally the arrival of this new girl aroused the suspicion of the boys and they suspected that she, like all girls, was a cootie carrier.
During this health crisis, Frankie Loogar came up with a scheme to bilk his classmates out of their milk money by lulling them into a false sense of security.
He transformed himself into Doctor Frank Loogar, Cooties inoculation specialist and began immunizing all the first and second grade male students at Heathcliff elementary school.

Frankie Loogar

Doctor Frankie Loogar, bogus cooties specialist and con man as he appeared at the start of his career as a professional quack.

The National Reporter – paid a visit to one of his former patients who had become infected with cootie bugs and left a paraplegic since he was seven years old.

The National Reporter – Hello, Mr. Pickalwitz.I am Ace Flashman from The National Reporter .
I am here to do a story about the man who is responsible for your condition, Frank Loogar.
Mister Pickalwitz – That bastard,..he did this!
The National Reporter – We have some good news for you.
Mister Pickalwitz – Did they find a cure for my cooties?
The National Reporter – Well,..not exactly.
Frank Loogar has been captured.

Mister Pickalwitz

Mister Pickalwitz speaking to us from his hospital bed.

Mister Pickalwitz – It’s about time they caught that bastard.
The National Reporter – He is in jail right now, his bail has been set at thirty million dollars.
Mister Pickalwitz –I hope the cops aint dumb enough to take a check from the bastard.
The National Reporter – I am sure they aren’t that stupid.
Mister Pickalwitz – I don’t know how any of us could have been so stupid to believe that he was a doctor.
He was seven years old like the rest of us.
How the hell could he have a medial degree?
I can’t believe we fell for his scam and just handed over our milk money for his fake cootie shots.
I mean, he just pinched our arms and punched them.
It hurt like hell, but at least we were safe from the cooties.
Or so we thought.
The National Reporter – Why did you believe he was a real doctor?
Mister Pickalwitz – He dressed like one. He had the white gown and the stethoscope and all.
How were we suppose to know he was a fake?
The National Reporter – How indeed?
There is no way to really tell if your doctor is fake, especially those who specialize in cootie bug treatment
In fact, we have learned that the problem has become very wide spread because of all the dumbed down morons the schools are pumping out these days.
They just don’t have any common sense which makes them easy prey for six year olds making promises of living cootie free lives for a small fee.

Cooties inoculation time

A millennial college student is seen here getting a cootie shot from a suspicious six year old doctor.

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