Mile wide whirlpool appears off NJ coast

Image taken by the space shuttle as it passed over the whirlpool.

The National Reporter
Boaters navigating the coastal waters of New Jersey got the shock of their lives this week when a massive whirlpool began to form a mile out to sea from Seaside Heights.
“It was weird as hell.” Captain Frank Bright told The National Reporter. “We were on a routine trip passing Seaside heights about a mile out at sea when we noticed that our compass was indicating that we were turning in a large circle and heading back in the direction that we had just came. It was very strange. i’ll tell you that. I was holding the ship’s wheel perfectly straight, and we were turning around facing the opposite direction within a few minutes.
After I checked all my instruments I realised that there was nothing wrong with the ship, the ocean was turning in a large circle.”
The National Reporter – Were you being sucked into the vortex of the whirlpool?
“No, wasn’t strong enough at that time. It was just starting to become a whirlpool as we were going past. We did however see the surface of the ocean lower into a mile wide circular depression. That was when we decided to high tail it out of there and head back to port.”

The coast guard has issued an emergency warning for all shipping to stay out of the area.
No ships are permitted within twenty miles of the phenomenon which the coast guard has described as a ship swallowing class maelstrom.
The mouth of the vortex is estimated to be a quarter mile wide.
A whirlpool of that size can easily grab hold of the largest ships in the world today and drag them under the surface with very little effort.

Two curious onlookers brave the freezing cold to gaze out at the massive whirlpool from atop a lifeguard stand

Dr. Kevin Terpin of the national oceanic research center has been on the scene studying the whirlpool since it began.
He had agreed to give The National Reporter an exclusive interview.
The National Reporter – Can you tell us what caused this whirlpool and why it is so huge?
“I think I can.” He said. “First we have to examine the ocean currents in the area. We have a strong current coming up from the south that is carrying warm water. That current is colliding with cold water coming down from the north. ordinarily the cold water from the north would have no effect because there is so little of it, but due to all the rain and cold weather we have had this year there is an ample supply.”
The National Reporter – So it was caused by cold water colliding with warm water?
“Exactly. What we are witnessing is an aquatic tornado. The whirlpool has formed exactly like a tornado only with warm water colliding with cold water instead of warm air and cold air.”
The National Reporter – How long do you think it will last?
“A week or two. After that the water will become to chilly to generate the rolling effect that is causing it. It will disappear as suddenly as it appeared.

If you live in the area and would like to see the whirlpool, make sure to dress warm and bring binoculars.
Please obey the local police and by all means, stay out of the water!
Do not try to launch any small craft like kayaks of row boats.
Even though the whirlpool is a mile out at sea, it has the strength to grab your boat a mere hundred feet from shore and drag you out to it.

Click here for more breaking news from The National Reporter

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3 Responses to Mile wide whirlpool appears off NJ coast

  1. yo mamma says:

    this is so fake

  2. Doctor doodyhead says:

    I am from New Jersey.
    I remember when this happened because it was on the NJ nightly news.
    It occurred during low tide when the currents changed and created a maelstrom against a sandbar.
    The story as reported by the national reporter is a tad exaggerated, but it really happened.

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