July 7, 2014 3 Comments
The National Reporter
The mysterious flying penis which was first sighted over Pittsburgh Pennsylvania few years ago has floated clear across Europe and into Asia where it has reappeared over the peoples republic of North Korea unleashing a storm of threats and war.
“They do this to make angry North Korea!” President Kim Jong-un said after he had personally witnessed the disgusting floating object.
The National Reporter – is prohibited from visiting North Korea because of our policy of always telling the truth in our news reports, however we were able to contact Kim Jong-un by shouting across the wall that the Communists put up to protect themselves from the evil capitalists in the South.
The National Reporter – Kim Jong-Un, are you there?
“Who want to know?”
The National Reporter – Mr. President, this is Ace Flashman from the National reporter.
“What you want?”
The National Reporter –I am doing a news story on the mysterious flying penis that floated into your country the other day.
“Mysterious floating what?”
The National Reporter – Penis, the mysterious floating penis.
“You mean giant wang?
The National Reporter – Yes, the giant wang.
“Oh,..that thing very evil. It scare girls and make them run away. Give many old women nightmares.”
A North Korean guard goose stepped over to me and handed me a packet that contained several photographs depicting the hysteria caused by the floating penis after it had violated North Korean airspace.
I opened the packet and glanced at the photos.
The first one was a group of young girls fleeing in terror from the floating abomination.
The second one was an angry Army officer instructing his troops to shoot the penis down as soon as it floated in range of their weapons.
Unfortunately the floating penis drifted off in the opposite direction.
The National Reporter –Where is the flying penis now, President Kim Jong-un?
“It still around someplace, me not know where.”He said. “I have given an order to all people to turn backs to flying wang. Ignore it. Do not look at it”
The National Reporter –Has then been succesful?
“So far no one is look at it.”
“Only people who looky are some girls. They think is funny and were making laughing at the wang.”
The National Reporter –What happened to them?
“Firing squad, they get shot in heads, go to great reward.”
Later that evening President Kim Jong-Un went on national television and proceed to unleash a tirade of threats and accusations at the Americans.
“You Americans have really made big mistake now!” he screamed. “Giant wang not funny, You pay, you see.
We build giant flying wang a hundred time bigger, send it to America, you see, We serious.
You be sorry for your crime against humanity. You a bunch of gangster criminals who ride horses and eat hotdogs all day long, you cowards!”
Hillary Clinton has been reported to be on her way to North Korea.
She is a regular visitor to Kim Jong-Uns private spa and luxury hotel for rich foreigners that Kim Jung-Un considers to be his allies in the struggle for world domination.
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