North Korean floating penis crisis heating up

The National Reporter

More threats are emerging from behind the 38th parallel as North Korea’s tyrannical despot Kim Jong Un steps up  his threat to launch a floating penis over the U.S. in retaliation for the mysterious floating penis that was first seen over Pittsburgh Pennsylvania and first reported right here on the National Reporter.
This video was smuggled out of that communist dictatorship at great risk to The National Reporters spy network that is operating inside of North Korea and head quartered in that country’s capital a mere two blocks from the home of Kim Jong Un.

It is rumored that the U.S. is building up air defenses along the west coast and are prepared to engage any flying objects floating in from the direction of North Korea.
There are also several reports from unidentified sources that the U.S. may be building a floating penis balloon nearly a mile long in the Nevada desert.
If these reports are true, the U.S. and North Korea may be headed to a dire impasse in diplomatic relations.

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“We teach you lesson America!” Kim Jong Un orders the construction of huge flying vengence penis

Korean despot Kim Jong Un is seen here cavorting with his blood thirsty henchmen watching the construction of the massive flying penis they plan to unleash on America.

Korean despot Kim Jong Un is seen here cavorting with his blood thirsty henchmen reading The National Reporters news story about the giant floating penis over North Korea. “Look, it my picture!” Kim Jong Un giggled excitedly.

The National Reporter

A few months ago The National Reporter informed our readers about the latest sighting of the notorious flying penis  over North Korea which outraged the chubby Despot, Kim Jong Un.
It is rumored that his recent disappearance from the public eye had something to with an emergency meeting he had ordered to exact revenge against the United State of America.
His threat to destroy America was aired on Korean television and seen by nearly one hundred people who have earned enough privilege to own television sets in that glorious peoples republic.
The CIA reported that it is highly likely that Kim Jong Un was indeed intending to follow through with his threat and was organizing the construction of a massive weapon in a remote area north of the 38th parallel.
When the word reached Washington the chiefs of staff ordered proof that he was intended to carry out this threat.

An American aerial reconnaissance plane snapped this horrifying image last week while on a highly classified fly over of the Communist nation.

Korean threat

Is this a giant flying penis that the North Korean madman is planning to launch on America?
The National Reporter was given a copy of this highly classified photograph for analysis by our science department who earned the respect of the Institute of science in Washington for their development of The Ghost-o-vision scope.
Our team of scientists used a special photographic process that allows them to magnify photographic images so that they could get a better look at the suspected flying penis and present the results to our loyal readers.

Close up shot

The National Reporters enhanced photograph clearly shows what appears to be a giant penis under construction on a remote North Korea military facility.
The Pentagon has secretly dispatched a fleet of anti missile cruisers and several submarines to protect our shores from giant sinister flying penises from North Korea in case Kim Jong Un decides to unleash his revenge.
General Bosco Stevens has contacted Kim Jon Un and issued a dire warning to him stating that the United States will not tolerate an invasion of our air space by flying penis’s or any other obscene flying objects intended to shock and horrify the American public.

Keep reading The National Reporter for any developments on this crisis.

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TSA officers angry over new X-ray glasses

TSA officers are not happy with the new X-ray glasses that enable them to see through clothing eliminating the need to search people with their hands.

TSA officers are not happy with the new X-ray glasses that enable them to see through clothing.

The National Reporter
TSA officers across the country are livid over the new X-ray glasses they have been issued that enable them to see right through clothing making it unnecessary for them to continue the practice of searching people with their hands.
“This sucks.” a TSA officer at JFK told us. “Why can’t we just go on checking the people the way we have been doing it, with our hands?”
The National Reporter – But isn’t it easier to search people with the new X-ray glasses?
“Well, yea. But it isn’t as much fun as the old way where we got to make sure the person wasn’t carrying a weapon.”
The National Reporter– Why is that?
The TSA agent nervously cleared his throat as his eyes darted around the room.
“I don’t know, It was just better.” He said.
“Now we can check the people without touching them.”another TSA agent said. “These x-ray glasses ruined this job for us.”
The National Reporter – They ruined your job? How did they do that?

Hubba,hubba! That's a some nice sausage you got there!

Hubba,hubba! That’s a some nice sausage you got there!

“The X-ray glasses ruined our job because, ummm,.” He stammered. “They just did, that’s all. No one should feel safe when they get on the plane now thanks to these damned X-ray glasses.”
The National Reporter – But now you can see at a glance without even touching anyone if they have a weapon on them.
“I don’t trust them.” a TSA Sargent explained. “Maybe the terrorists will invent a new type of invisible hang gun or knife or something. If they do how will we be able to detect them without feeling people up for a weapon?”
“Hey yeah,..that’s right. How would we be able to see some sort of invisible terrorist weapon with X-ray glasses?” Another TSA officer asked.

Oh my,.. what do you have down there?

Oh my,.. what do you have down there?


The National Reporter – So you are concerned that terrorist are going to invent invisible weapons and sneak them right past you because your won’t be able to see them with your x-ray glasses?
“Umm,.. O.K. I mean,.. yeah, that’s right.” The Sargent said. “It is necessary to feel for weapons that may be undetectable with these silly x-ray glasses.
“I agree.” Another TSA agent said. “I would feel a lot better if I knew for sure that no one was sneaking anything invisible and dangerous on board the planes.”
We better make sure he isn't hiding an invisible rifle in any of his body cavity's.

We better make sure he isn’t hiding an invisible rifle in any of his body cavity’s.


“One thing that really angers me about these new x-ray glasses. Sex perverts will love these things because they can see right through clothing.”
The National Reporter -That’s right, but how would they get a hold of them?
“They would steal them us.” The Sargent said.
“Or buy them from,.. I mean yeah,.. they would steal them from us.” the other TSA agent said.