North Korean floating penis crisis heating up

The National Reporter

More threats are emerging from behind the 38th parallel as North Korea’s tyrannical despot Kim Jong Un steps up  his threat to launch a floating penis over the U.S. in retaliation for the mysterious floating penis that was first seen over Pittsburgh Pennsylvania and first reported right here on the National Reporter.
This video was smuggled out of that communist dictatorship at great risk to The National Reporters spy network that is operating inside of North Korea and head quartered in that country’s capital a mere two blocks from the home of Kim Jong Un.

It is rumored that the U.S. is building up air defenses along the west coast and are prepared to engage any flying objects floating in from the direction of North Korea.
There are also several reports from unidentified sources that the U.S. may be building a floating penis balloon nearly a mile long in the Nevada desert.
If these reports are true, the U.S. and North Korea may be headed to a dire impasse in diplomatic relations.

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“We teach you lesson America!” Kim Jong Un orders the construction of huge flying vengence penis

Korean despot Kim Jong Un is seen here cavorting with his blood thirsty henchmen watching the construction of the massive flying penis they plan to unleash on America.

Korean despot Kim Jong Un is seen here cavorting with his blood thirsty henchmen reading The National Reporters news story about the giant floating penis over North Korea. “Look, it my picture!” Kim Jong Un giggled excitedly.

The National Reporter

A few months ago The National Reporter informed our readers about the latest sighting of the notorious flying penis  over North Korea which outraged the chubby Despot, Kim Jong Un.
It is rumored that his recent disappearance from the public eye had something to with an emergency meeting he had ordered to exact revenge against the United State of America.
His threat to destroy America was aired on Korean television and seen by nearly one hundred people who have earned enough privilege to own television sets in that glorious peoples republic.
The CIA reported that it is highly likely that Kim Jong Un was indeed intending to follow through with his threat and was organizing the construction of a massive weapon in a remote area north of the 38th parallel.
When the word reached Washington the chiefs of staff ordered proof that he was intended to carry out this threat.

An American aerial reconnaissance plane snapped this horrifying image last week while on a highly classified fly over of the Communist nation.

Korean threat

Is this a giant flying penis that the North Korean madman is planning to launch on America?
The National Reporter was given a copy of this highly classified photograph for analysis by our science department who earned the respect of the Institute of science in Washington for their development of The Ghost-o-vision scope.
Our team of scientists used a special photographic process that allows them to magnify photographic images so that they could get a better look at the suspected flying penis and present the results to our loyal readers.

Close up shot

The National Reporters enhanced photograph clearly shows what appears to be a giant penis under construction on a remote North Korea military facility.
The Pentagon has secretly dispatched a fleet of anti missile cruisers and several submarines to protect our shores from giant sinister flying penises from North Korea in case Kim Jong Un decides to unleash his revenge.
General Bosco Stevens has contacted Kim Jon Un and issued a dire warning to him stating that the United States will not tolerate an invasion of our air space by flying penis’s or any other obscene flying objects intended to shock and horrify the American public.

Keep reading The National Reporter for any developments on this crisis.

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The flying penis invades North Korea, Kim Jong-un threatens to destroy America!

The horrific abomination floated into view of the people as they were worshiping the giant golden communist Gods.

The horrific abomination floated into view of the people as they were watching the giant dancing golden robot show.

The National Reporter
The mysterious flying penis which was first sighted over Pittsburgh Pennsylvania few years ago has floated clear across Europe and into Asia where it has reappeared over the peoples republic of North Korea unleashing a storm of threats and war.
“They do this to make angry North Korea!” President Kim Jong-un said after he had personally witnessed the disgusting floating object.

Looky looky,..what that floating over there? Oh no! it giant flying wang!!

Looky looky,..what that floating over there? Oh no! it giant flying wang!!

The National Reporter – is prohibited from visiting North Korea because of our policy of always telling the truth in our news reports, however we were able to contact Kim Jong-un by shouting across the wall that the Communists put up to protect themselves from the evil capitalists in the South.
The National Reporter – Kim Jong-Un, are you there?
“Who want to know?”
The National Reporter – Mr. President, this is Ace Flashman from the National reporter.
“What you want?”
The National Reporter –I am doing a news story on the mysterious flying penis that floated into your country the other day.
“Mysterious floating what?”
The National Reporter – Penis, the mysterious floating penis.
“You mean giant wang?
The National Reporter – Yes, the giant wang.
“Oh,..that thing very evil. It scare girls and make them run away. Give many old women nightmares.”

A North Korean guard goose stepped over to me and handed me a packet that contained several photographs depicting the hysteria caused by the floating penis after it had violated North Korean airspace.
I opened the packet and glanced at the photos.
The first one was a group of young girls fleeing in terror from the floating abomination.

YIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!! Run for your life, it is a wang monster!

YIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!! Run for your life, it is Peno, the flying wang monster come to kill us!

The second one was an angry Army officer instructing his troops to shoot the penis down as soon as it floated in range of their weapons.
Unfortunately the floating penis drifted off in the opposite direction.

Hold you fire till it get close! Then we shoot!

Hold you fire till it get close!
Then we shoot!

The National Reporter –Where is the flying penis now, President Kim Jong-un?
“It still around someplace, me not know where.”He said. “I have given an order to all people to turn backs to flying wang. Ignore it. Do not look at it”
The National Reporter –Has then been succesful?
“So far no one is look at it.”

Order of the day; We no look at big disgusting frying wang. Turn back and no looky!

Order of the day; We no look at big disgusting frying wang. Turn back and no looky!

“Only people who looky are some girls. They think is funny and were making laughing at the wang.”
The National Reporter –What happened to them?
“Firing squad, they get shot in heads, go to great reward.”

Stupid girls, think is funy to laugh at giant flying wang that President Kim Jong-Un say not to looky at. Now they dead.

Stupid girls, think is funny to laugh at giant flying wang that President Kim Jong-Un say not to looky at. Now they dead.

Later that evening President Kim Jong-Un went on national television and proceed to unleash a tirade of threats and accusations at the Americans.
“You Americans have really made big mistake now!” he screamed. “Giant wang not funny, You pay, you see.
We build giant flying wang a hundred time bigger, send it to America, you see, We serious.
You be sorry for your crime against humanity. You a bunch of gangster criminals who ride horses and eat hotdogs all day long, you cowards!”

President Kim Jong -Un during his televised attack on America. He has promised quick retaliation against what he has called war crimes and crimes against humanity.

President Kim Jong -Un during his televised attack on America. He has promised quick retaliation against what he has called war crimes and crimes against humanity.

Hillary Clinton has been reported to be on her way to North Korea.
She is a regular visitor to Kim Jong-Uns private spa and luxury hotel for rich foreigners that Kim Jung-Un considers to be his allies in the struggle for world domination.

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Reporter

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The National Reporter with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.