Storage wars; Brandi Passante finds fully functional death ray in storage locker
September 21, 2015 2 Comments
The National Reporter
Brandi Passante, the suave business woman and reality tv star who, along with her husband Jarrod, made a very unusual find this past week.
After out bidding the auction crowd for a storage locker that contained an unopened crate inside that had been sealed since 1951, they were shocked when they opened the musty old wooden crate and discovered an aluminum case inside.
When they opened the aluminum case they discovered that they had just purchased one (1) unused experimental death ray built by the U.S. air force that was to be used in the Korean war but had mysteriously disappeared before it could be deployed to that conflict.
The National Reporter went to their store to learn more about their astonishing discovery.
The National Reporter – Hello Brandi and Jarrod. My name is Ace Flashman. I am a reporter for The National Reporter.
Brandi – There is no need to introduce yourself Mr. Flashman. My husband Jarrod and I are avid readers of your wonderful and informative website.
The National Reporter –why thank you. We try our best to keep our loyal readers up to date with the latest stories from around the nation and the world.
Brandi – Of course, and we like The National Reporter for its truthfulness and highly informative articles and because you are a two time recipient of the coveted International reporters association award for truth, honesty and integrity in journalism.
The National Reporter –Yes, we are very proud of that fact.
Jarrod – I was really intrigued with your article about the man who discovered the electronic implant in his tooth and he had no idea where it came from.
The follow up story that solved the mystery was quite an eye opener.
I would never have guessed the solution on my own.
The National Reporter – Yes, many of our readers were curious about the origin and purpose of the implant and were very pleased when we did our follow up report and gave them the answer as to what it was and how it got there.
Brandi – We were both shocked and stunned when we found out the solution.
The National Reporter – As were many of our readers I am sure.
Now lets move onto the fascinating discovery your two made the other day at a storage locker auction.
We understand that you found some sort of experimental weapon or device?
Brandi –It’s a death ray.
Jarrod – Yeah,..a death ray.We are pretty sure it’s a death ray.
The National Reporter –What did you think when you found it?
Brandi –We opened the crate and there was this ray gun inside all packed up in Styrofoam. I thought it was a kids toy.
Jarrod –I thought it was a toy too. We couldn’t understand why it was wrapped up so carefully and then we saw the USAF markings on the crate and we knew then that there was more to this than we thought.
Brandi –I took the gun out first and I pressed a button on the top and it started humming.
Then a little green light came on and I pointed it down the street and pulled the trigger.
It made a really deep bass sound for a second then it stopped and began humming again.
The National Reporter – What happened after that?
Brandi – A few minutes later we heard the fire trucks going by heading up the street where I pointed the death ray.
There was a huge cloud of black smoke billowing up in the distance.
Jarrod – That was when we decided to pack everything up and get out of there.
The National Reporter –Where is the death ray now?
Brandi- We still have it. I want to sell it, but Jarrod wants to keep it.
The National Reporter –What on Earth do you want to keep such a dangerous weapon like that?
Jarrod –Come on,..seriously? It’s a freaking death ray!
Brandi-It’s a dangerous weapon.
Jarrod –That may be true, but come on. It’s a freaking death ray. How cool is that?
Brandi shook her head and walked out of the room.
Two minutes later this reporter and Jarrod were out behind the shop melting an abandoned car with the death ray.
I offered him one hundred thousand dollars for it but he said no way.
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