NASA Scientists confirm, Aliens can perform self rectal exams

NASA artist redition of a space alien performing a self rectal examination.

NASA computer image of a space alien performing a self rectal examination.

The National Reporter
For years people have been claiming that they had been taken aboard alien space craft and given rectal exams by space creatures.
These reports have always been dismissed as shear nonsense until NASA scientists discovered a species of aliens who apparently have a cultural anal fixation.
“It could be the reason why they have such long necks.” An un-named NASA scientist told us.
NASA scientist – “Their long swan like necks could have evolved as a result of their anal fixation from constantly trying to see their own anuses.
Over centuries of trying, their necks began to adapt and get longer to accommodate their obsession.” He said.
The National Reporter – So in your opinion, does this shed some credibility on all the people who have claimed that they had been taken aboard alien space ships and had their rectums examined?
NASA scientist – “I would not jump to conclusions, most people who make such claims are retards or loners just looking for attention. But we can’t rule them all out.”
The National Reporter – What if I told you that I had such an encounter, would you believe me?
NASA scientist – “Most certainly.” He said. “You are The National Reporters star journalist, so naturally you are telling the truth.
Everyone knows that The National Reporter is a two time recipient of the International Reporters Association’s coveted Seal Of Honesty in reporting award.”
The National Reporter – That is correct. We are compelled to tell the truth, unlike the notorious tabloids who make up stories just to make money.
NASA scientist – “That is true, the tabloids make up the most ridiculous stories I have ever read.” He said. “Some of them are so stupid and they never try to explain how they occurred, which naturally makes them suspect as to their authenticity. They sound like something a bored writer was just making up as he was typing. It makes me sick”
The National Reporter – I agree, total nonsense.
NASA scientist – “Absolutely.” he said.

The National Reporter – Now doctor, how did you come to the conclusion that these space creatures can perform such a difficult task like this?
NASA scientist – “We figured it out.” He explained.
The National Reporter – I see, that is very enlightening.
NASA scientist – “Yes,..most people would agree.”
The National Reporter – But then there are the doubting Thomas’s who would scoff at your findings.
NASA scientist – “Yes, there are always the non-believers despite the over whelming evidence of our research.”
The National Reporter – Well thank you doctor, this has been quite an interesting interview.
After the interview was over we got in our cars and drove away.

Click here for more breaking news from The National Reporter

© The National Reporter, Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to The National Reporter with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About Ace Flashman
Grabbing up all the hot news flashes from around the nation and bringing them to you!!!

2 Responses to NASA Scientists confirm, Aliens can perform self rectal exams

  1. Kitty says:

    According to Snopes.com the National Reporter is totally fake.
    Why would they waste their journalism skills on fake reports?
    I dont have time for this

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: