Hidden for decades; Secret room in Whitehouse attic reveals the mummified remains of Woodrow Wilson’s genetically deformed brother
November 3, 2009 22 Comments
The National Reporter
While repainting a seldom used upper corridor in the Whitehouse last week, a crew of painters discovered a trap door in the ceiling that had been hidden underneath a thick layer of plaster.
The painters let their curiosity get the better of them and they broke through to see what was up there.
“I took out my knife and started prying a big chunk of the old plaster away and then the whole thing just fell down in one big chunk and crashed to the floor. There was crap all over the place, man.” Manual Hernandez said. “There was an old trap door in the ceiling and at first I was afraid to go up, but then my friend Jose started calling me chicken, so I opened it and stuck my head up.
It was pitch black up there and it smelled stinky, like an old ladies house, y’know. Have you ever been in one? man, they stink like crap, man. So, I tell Jose to hand me his flashlight so I could see if there was anything good up there.
When I shined the light around, all I saw was a bunch of crap on the floor and picture of some old gringo on the wall.”
The National Reporter “Did you climb up into the room to investigate?”
“Oh yeah,..I went up in the room with the flashlight and junk, I ain’t no chicken, Y’know?”
The National Reporter “What happened up in the room?”
” I started looking around for stuff, y’know? and there was another room behind me with a small window letting in the sunlight. I could see a small table and a chair, so I walked over to it to see what kind of stuff was in it, y’know? That’s when I saw that thing laying on the floor looking up at me! Man,..I turned and ran so fast that I fell down the trap door and kept right on running.”
The National Reporter went to the Whitehouse to see if we could get further information on his discovery and perhaps even a photograph of the thing he saw, but to no avail.
The trap door was being guarded by heavily armed secret service officer, Walter Bromworth.
“No one is allowed beyond this point.” Special agent Bromworth told us.
We could see people in lab coats up above us through the open trap door mulling about the room and speaking back and forth, but we couldn’t make out what they were saying.
“We are from The National Reporter and we were wondering if we could conduct an interview with someone in charge of this discovery.” I said.
Agent Bromworth just smiled and shook his head no.
A second later a man wearing a white lab coat stuck his head down from the trap door and looked at me.
“Did you say you are from The National Reporter ?” he asked.
“Yes, I am. I am from The National Reporter.”
“It’s alright officer, You can stand aside and let the man up.”
Agent Bromworth stepped aside and allowed me to pass.
I climbed up the ladder and entered the small dark musty room, it was littered from one end to the other with bits and chunks of plaster and paint that had crumbled and peeled with age and fallen to the floor.
Decades of neglect had exposed the cross thatched wooden sub frame in the walls in several spots around the room, large fanned out piles of mildewed plaster laid strewn across the floor before them as though it had been tossed down by force.
Hanging on the wall right in front of me as I ascended into the room was a very old and yellowed linotype portrait of president Woodrow Wilson.
The edges were brown and curled, the tips had long since cracked away and fluttered to the floor to join the damp, musty decaying debris.
It was just like Manuel Hernandez had described it.
As I surveyed the small dingy room, a bespectacled scientist who appeared to be in his mid thirtys walked out of the room that I assumed was where Manuel had seen his monster.
“Are you really from The National Reporter?” he asked.
“Yes, I am.” I answered.
“Thank goodness, we have been trying our best to keep all those moronic tabloids from learning about this. The last thing we need is to have them making up some ridiculous story about this discovery.” He said.
“We know we can trust the National Reporter to report the real story to the public and not some silly made up nonsense about bat boy aliens controlling the president from a secret mind control room in the Whitehouse attic.”
“I know what you mean, the supermarket tabloids have a tendency to go over the edge with their silly storys. But don’t worry, you can trust The National Reporter to report the facts and nothing but the facts.” I assured him.
“Yes, he said. “we are aware of the fine reputation The National Reporter has earned for their honesty and integrity in journalism.
We are honored to have The National Reporter covering this historic discovery.”
He smiled and then instructed me to follow him to the other room.
I walked directly behind the scientist as he entered the room, once inside he stepped to his right.
That was when I saw it.
I couldn’t help but let out a slight gasp from the shock.
“Oh my God,..What is it?” I asked.
The mummified corpse was about four feet long.
The upper half of the body appeared to be humanoid, the lower half appeared to be from an aquatic species, a fish of some kind.
I could see a long dorsal fin running down the length of its back to its tail.
His head was raised in the air and his face seemed to be frozen in agony, indicating that perhaps he had suffered a sudden and excruciating death.
It had no gills, so I assumed it breathed air.
Naturally if it couldn’t breath out of water it would have been be in a large tank or at least had one nearby.
There was none, so I concluded that the lower portion of its body had to be some sort of genetic deformity and completely unrelated to any species of fish.
“Do you have any idea what it is?” I asked.
The scientist held up a stack of technical reports from the FBI’s forensic laboratory.
“From what we have learned from carbon dating and DNA testing, It is the remains of Herbert Wilson, Woodrow Wilsons deformed older brother.” he said.
“During Wilson’s presidency,” He continued. ” it had been rumored that he had an older brother who suffered from a very rare genetic condition that twists it’s victims into grotesque forms.”
“So, you are saying that this is the actual remains of Woodrow Wilson’s genetically deformed brother, Herbert?”
“That’s right, we now have physical proof that the persistent rumors going around at that time about Wilson’s older brother are true.
There can be no doubt that he kept him hidden from the public to prevent the office of the president from being compromised by yellow journalism during wartime.”
“What are you going to do with his remains?” I asked.
“After the news breaks of this discovery, which we trust will be tactfully done and in very good taste by The National Reporter, he will be buried in the Wilson family plot along side of his brother and family members.”
The National Reporter wishes to ask the public to please respect the privacy of the Wilson family as they pay their last respects to their long lost relative.
The funeral service for Herbert Wilson will be for family members only.
Aerial photographs of the service will be taken by The National Reporter helicopter which will be hovering over head photographing and video taping the entire funeral, so there is no need for anyone to bother the family by sneaking over the wall with your cameras.
© The National Reporter, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to The National Reporter with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.