Parasite turns honor roll student into class idiot
November 1, 2009 4 Comments
The National Reporter
Billy Compton, an honor roll student who attends school at Beverly high school in Beverly Massachusetts, went to Florida for spring break last year like thousands of other students from around the country.
One his third night in Florida, he enjoyed a meal of fried craw daddys at a local eatery with a group of his friends.
The next night he began to feel a strange sensation in the front of his head.
“It felt like something was moving around in my head.” He said.
By the time he returned home his behavior had changed radically.
The former honor roll student was starting to have sudden uncontrolable impulses to behave erratically.
The National Reporter interviewed some of his school mates to find out more.
“He got out of his seat in history class and started waddling around the room flapping his arms and saying, “I am a cheese cake, look at me go!” Sally Moore said.
Sophmore Ricky Flanigan said, “This guy came into the gym while we were playing basketball and told us to stop sending ghosts to his house. Then he started crying, it really weirded us out.”
School officials finally advised his parents to send him to the hospital to find out what was wrong with him after he sneaked into the principals office and used his telephone to call the police to report a disturbance at the school.
He told them that a tractor trailor was parked illegally in his seat and the driver wouldn’t stop blasting the air horn.
When the doctors examined him they were agast at what they found.
A catscan revealed a large foriegn object in his brain and it was alive.
They performed immediate emergency surgery to remove the object.
“When we opened up the front of his skull I almost jumped out of my skin.” Doctor Barnhiem told us.
“There was this,..thing,..staring out at us from the incision and it was trying to bury itself deeper into his brain to get away from us. It was absolutley hidious, like something you would see in a horror film.”
The surgical team removed the parasite as carefully as they could so they would not cause any further injury to Billy.
“It put up quite a struggle, it was pretty strong and it was hanging onto him like a tick, but we eventually managed to pry the bastard loose and get it out of his head.” Head trauma specialist Francine Worthrite told us.
The parasite was squirming and struggling to free itself as it was placed into a specimen container which was sent to the department of agriculture for species identification.
“We don’t know what that thing was, I never saw anything like in all my years as a doctor. Maybe the scientists in DC can figure out what it is.” Doctor Barnhiem said.
The National Reporter Went to Florida to investigate the food that was being served at the diner where Billy Compton and his friends ate that night, but the building was vacant and up for rent.
The landlord didn’t know where the former tenants went.
“They removed all their equipment and cleared out without saying anything to me.” He told us.
The National Reporter is happy to inform our readers that Billy Compton is doing well and is expected to make a complete recovery.
He will be returning to school in a month and the students at Beverly High school are eager to welcome him back.
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