The flying penis invades North Korea, Kim Jong-un threatens to destroy America!

The horrific abomination floated into view of the people as they were worshiping the giant golden communist Gods.

The horrific abomination floated into view of the people as they were watching the giant dancing golden robot show.

The National Reporter
The mysterious flying penis which was first sighted over Pittsburgh Pennsylvania few years ago has floated clear across Europe and into Asia where it has reappeared over the peoples republic of North Korea unleashing a storm of threats and war.
“They do this to make angry North Korea!” President Kim Jong-un said after he had personally witnessed the disgusting floating object.

Looky looky,..what that floating over there? Oh no! it giant flying wang!!

Looky looky,..what that floating over there? Oh no! it giant flying wang!!

The National Reporter – is prohibited from visiting North Korea because of our policy of always telling the truth in our news reports, however we were able to contact Kim Jong-un by shouting across the wall that the Communists put up to protect themselves from the evil capitalists in the South.
The National Reporter – Kim Jong-Un, are you there?
“Who want to know?”
The National Reporter – Mr. President, this is Ace Flashman from the National reporter.
“What you want?”
The National Reporter –I am doing a news story on the mysterious flying penis that floated into your country the other day.
“Mysterious floating what?”
The National Reporter – Penis, the mysterious floating penis.
“You mean giant wang?
The National Reporter – Yes, the giant wang.
“Oh,..that thing very evil. It scare girls and make them run away. Give many old women nightmares.”

A North Korean guard goose stepped over to me and handed me a packet that contained several photographs depicting the hysteria caused by the floating penis after it had violated North Korean airspace.
I opened the packet and glanced at the photos.
The first one was a group of young girls fleeing in terror from the floating abomination.

YIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!! Run for your life, it is a wang monster!

YIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!! Run for your life, it is Peno, the flying wang monster come to kill us!

The second one was an angry Army officer instructing his troops to shoot the penis down as soon as it floated in range of their weapons.
Unfortunately the floating penis drifted off in the opposite direction.

Hold you fire till it get close! Then we shoot!

Hold you fire till it get close!
Then we shoot!

The National Reporter –Where is the flying penis now, President Kim Jong-un?
“It still around someplace, me not know where.”He said. “I have given an order to all people to turn backs to flying wang. Ignore it. Do not look at it”
The National Reporter –Has then been succesful?
“So far no one is look at it.”

Order of the day; We no look at big disgusting frying wang. Turn back and no looky!

Order of the day; We no look at big disgusting frying wang. Turn back and no looky!

“Only people who looky are some girls. They think is funny and were making laughing at the wang.”
The National Reporter –What happened to them?
“Firing squad, they get shot in heads, go to great reward.”

Stupid girls, think is funy to laugh at giant flying wang that President Kim Jong-Un say not to looky at. Now they dead.

Stupid girls, think is funny to laugh at giant flying wang that President Kim Jong-Un say not to looky at. Now they dead.

Later that evening President Kim Jong-Un went on national television and proceed to unleash a tirade of threats and accusations at the Americans.
“You Americans have really made big mistake now!” he screamed. “Giant wang not funny, You pay, you see.
We build giant flying wang a hundred time bigger, send it to America, you see, We serious.
You be sorry for your crime against humanity. You a bunch of gangster criminals who ride horses and eat hotdogs all day long, you cowards!”

President Kim Jong -Un during his televised attack on America. He has promised quick retaliation against what he has called war crimes and crimes against humanity.

President Kim Jong -Un during his televised attack on America. He has promised quick retaliation against what he has called war crimes and crimes against humanity.

Hillary Clinton has been reported to be on her way to North Korea.
She is a regular visitor to Kim Jong-Uns private spa and luxury hotel for rich foreigners that Kim Jung-Un considers to be his allies in the struggle for world domination.

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Reporter

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About Ace Flashman
Grabbing up all the hot news flashes from around the nation and bringing them to you!!!

3 Responses to The flying penis invades North Korea, Kim Jong-un threatens to destroy America!

  1. Caltech rulz says:

    I hate that flying penis, why doesn’t someone do something about it?
    Can’t they shoot it down?
    Its ruining everything for us.
    North Korea is going to destroy the world because of that thing.

  2. Spazmoid7 says:

    They tried to shoot it down when it was sighted over Germany a few months ago.
    They scrambled a few jets who fired missiles at it but they missed and blew up a gas station.
    My cousin is stationed in the army over there and he got some pictures of the jets shooting at it and hitting the gas station.
    The German government confiscated his camera before he could send the images to me.
    I hope the flying penis doesn’t start WW3, that would be terrible.
    They should find the clowns who built it and execute them so Kim jung-un won’t be mad at us anymore.
    North Korea is scary, they can kick our ass.

  3. Karateexpert says:

    AAAIIIEEEE!!!! The flying penis! LOL!
    This site is always good for a laugh.
    Ace, you have to do more news reports!.

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