Idiot buries himself up to his neck on parents front lawn

16 year old Carl Johnson seen here buried up to his neck on his parents front lawn.

16 year old Carl Johnson seen here buried up to his neck on his parents front lawn.

The National Reporter

16 year old Carl Johnson of Boise Idaho was discovered buried up to his neck in a hole that was dug in his parents front lawn last week.
This reporter went to his home to find out why he did this.
The National Reporter – Hi Carl, my name is Ace Flashman, I am a reporter for The National Reporter.
Carl Johnson –“Hi Mr. Flashman.”
The National Reporter – Hello Carl. Can you tell me why you did this?
Carl Johnson –“Why did I do what?”
The National Reporter – Why did you bury yourself like this?
Carl Johnson –“I don’t know.”
The National Reporter – You don’t know?
Carl Johnson –“Nuh uh, I just felt like it I guess.”
The National Reporter – Did you do this as a form of protest.
Carl Johnson –“I don’t know, ..maybe,..yea,..that’s why I did it.”
The National Reporter – What are you protesting and how is burying yourself up to the neck getting your point across?
Carl Johnson –“I don’t know.”
The National Reporter – You must have some idea why you did this. What are you protesting?
Carl Johnson –“Ummm,.. school?”
The National Reporter – You are protesting school? Did something happen to you at school?
Carl Johnson –“I don’t know,..I guess so.”
The National Reporter – What happened to you at school that would make you do something like this?
Carl Johnson –“I don’t know.”
The National Reporter – Does this have something to do with a girl you like?
Carl Johnson –“well,,.umm.,..yea.”
The National Reporter – How is burying yourself up to your neck relevant to your crush on a girl at school?
Carl Johnson –“I don’t know,..I want her to like me I guess. What does relevant mean?”
The National Reporter – How is this going to make her like you?
Carl Johnson –“She will think I look cool and fall in love with me.”
The National Reporter – Really?
Carl Johnson –“yeah, I am afraid to talk to her so I figured if I buried myself up to my neck she would like me.”

As he was speaking his father walked out of the house and approached me.
“Who are you? He asked.
The National Reporter – Hello sir, My name is Ace Flashman. I am a reporter for The
National Reporter.
“Awwww,..geeez! Your a reporter!?”
The National Reporter – That’s right. I am here to interview your son.
“Awww,..geez,..the press!?” He groaned. “Look pal, can’t we just let this one go?”
The National Reporter – Excuse me?
“Come on, buddy. This whole affair has been extremely embarrassing for our family, can’t you just let this slide and go report something else?”
Carl Johnson – Dad,..can you bring me a sandwich?
The National Reporter – I am sorry Mr. Johnson, but I have to follow my nose and report news that is of interest to our readers. Besides, there are no good news stories for me to pursue at the moment.
Awww, geeez,..can’t you just make something up?”
The National Reporter – Make something up? You have to be kidding. The National Reporter has a spotless reputation for reporting the truth and nothing but the truth. We would never make up some silly story.
That sort of nonsense is beneith us.
Did you know that the National Reporter has been the recipient of the renowned Seal of honesty award from the International Reporters association for truthfulness, honesty and integrity?
Do you really think I would compromise that honor just for the sake of making up some ridiculous story?
Carl Johnson – Hey Dad,..can you bring the TV set out here? This is boring.
“I know your fine news service has an impeccable reputation, but can’t you please find something else to write about?
This whole episode has been very humiliating for us. We are getting crank telephone calls for the past week, people asking to talk to Carl. They know he can’t get out of the hole. They are just trying to be funny.”

Carl Johnson –what time is it, dad?
“It’s ten to three,..idiot.”
Carl Johnson – OH NO!
The National Reporter – What’s wrong Carl?
Carl Johnson – The grade school down the street lets out at three and all the little kids walk by and say stuff to me.
yesterday they drew glasses on my face with a red magic marker.
The National Reporter – Well that was certainly a mean thing to do.
“Aw geez,..what do you expect?” Carl’s dad said. “Your making an ass out of yourself, of course they are going to tease you,..idiot!”

As he was speaking my cell phone rang. It was an urgent message from The National Reporters head office.
Geologists in Florida had uncovered a thirty seven foot long specimen of petrified dinosaur scat and they wanted me to cover the story.
The National Reporter – I have to leave right away on urgent business.
“Oh thank goodness.” Mr. Johnson said with a sigh of relief. “Does that mean you won’t report this story in The National Reporter?
The National Reporter – No. I will write it on my lap top and send it to my editor while I am on the plane.
Carl Johnson –Is there something crawling up the back of my neck? Hey Dad,..can you see if there is a bug on my neck?
“Thanks a lot, Ace.” Carl’s Dad groaned. I can’t wait to read it.”

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