RC helicopters with video cameras irk sorority houses across the nation

Women sharp shooters stand guard ready to blast RC helicopters from the sky.

The National Reporter
Ever since remote controlled helicopters began packing video cameras as standard equipment womens sorority houses across the nation have come under siege with hundreds of the annoying flying contraptions peeking into their windows.
“We have had enough of this nonsense!” Mary Standford of the Kapa Kapa’s told us.
“Every day it’s the same thing, We are in our bedroom and we look up at the window and there is one of those damed things hovering there peeking in.”
The National Reporter – That’s sounds awful, what are you doing about it?
“Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. We have stationed women sharpshooters around our sorority houses and they are blasting these things to pieces.”
The National Reporter – How many have they shot down?
“We lost count, the damned things keep coming and coming non stop day and night. We shoot one down and five or six more fly past and head straight for the windows.”

They keep coming and coming non stop day and night.

“Sometimes the lawn gets so littered with the smoking debris of these things we have to call the fire department.”

The National Reporter – Interviewed one of the nearby local residents and asked them what they thought of the problem being caused by the RC helicopters.
“Sometimes they open up on a whole squadren of the damed things, it sounds like a war going on.” Jack McKinnley told us.
“The girls do their best to down the damned things, but they just keep coming.
I don’t know where the people who are flying them get all their money from, they must be spending a fortune.”
The National Reporter – Have they been bothering you as well?
“They don’t peek into my windows if that’s what you mean. They want to peek in the windows at the sorority house, you know why,.heh,heh,heh.
They get on my nerves because they fly over my house when they attack the girls house.
All night and day I can hear them flying over and hovering over the roof, plus the never ending barrage of shot guns going off down the street keeps me awake most of the night.”
The National Reporter – What are the police doing about the problem?
“The cops say it is out of their jurisdiction because it is matter for the FAA. The FAA refuses to handle it because they say it’s a problem for the FCC because the helicopters are radio controlled.”

Female sharp shooter takes aim at a hovering intruder as another lies smoking on the ground to her left.

The National Reporter – tracked down the perpetrators at the nearby nerdly fraternity house and we asked them why they were doing it.
“What do you mean why?” Stanly Stuart said. He seemed surprised that we would ask such a question as if we didn’t already know why they were doing it.
“To see some stuff,..you know?” He said.
The National Reporter – To see some stuff?
“Yeah, you know,..girls and,..you know,..stuff.”
The National Reporter – Stuff like what?
By now Stanly and the other students seemed like they were getting nervous with my questioning.
There eyes darted about and they were shuffling on their feet.
“You know,..stuff in the girls bedrooms,..and stuff,.you know?”
The National Reporter – I don’t know what you mean. Can you be more specific?”
Stanlys face was beet red by this time and most of his fraternity brothers had quietly slipped out of the room.

Fred Walston (Center holding the helicopter) and his nerd chopper squad showing off one of their RC video helicopters.

“You know,..like girls in their bras and stuff. You know?”
The National Reporter -Oh I see, you are using the helicopters to peep on the girls as they are getting undressed.
“Well,..um,.no,..not really.”
By this time Stanly looked like he was going to pass out at any second.
The National Reporter -Not really? What other reasons do you have for peeking into the girls bedrooms?
Just as Stanly looked like he was goung to pass out, his science teacher Fred Walston stormed into the room.
“Who are you?” He demanded.
The National Reporter -I am an investigative reporter for the The National Reporter We are doing a story on the hoards of RC helicopters that your students are using to peek into the womens sorority house down the street.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” He said. “You have to get out of here now, this is private property and you’re trespassing.”
The National Reporter -Oh I see. you don’t like it when someone is trespassing, but it’s OK for you to peek into the womens sorority house with your RC helicopters?
“I happen to be very good friends with the Chief of police.” He told us.
The National Reporter -Is that why the police refuse to do anything about your RC helicopter antics?

At this time the local police arrived and escorted this reporter off of the property with a warning not to return.
I think we all know what is going on and the The National Reporter urges everyone to write their representatives to complian.

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Hidden chamber discovered in peak of great pyramid

Location of newly discovered hidden chamber in pyramid

A small well hidden chamber has been discovered by a robotic probe in the Khufu pyramid.
In 1993, a robotic probe was sent into an air shaft and after many twists and turns, was stopped by a marble door in its path.
What lied beyond this door was a mystery until late last month when scientists were given permission to continue their exploration by drilling a small hole though it so that a fiber optic probe could be inserted into it.

Once the hole was drilled, the optic fiber probe was inserted and the exploration of the shaft continued.

The fiber optic probe traveled upward into the shaft for several yards turning and twisting until it came to an open chamber approx. ten feet deep and five feet high.
What it reveled inside that chamber was shocking.
Standing in the middle of the room in front of a second doorway was the skeletal remains of an animal.
But this was no ordinary animal.
It appeared to be a large cat with a deformed human head standing guard in front of the entrance to the second chamber.

Skeletal remains of a strange animal guarding the second entrance in the chamber

When the image of the animal was displayed on the video monitor, several scientists thought  that it could be the actual remains of one of ancient Egypt’s most revered mythical half cat half human beasts.
Could this be proof that they were real?
The skeleton was scrutinized for nearly three hours by the exploration staff and the image was aired in real-time around the world to several major university’s.
What the beast is remains a mystery, but one thing has been determined.  It is a real skeleton, not a sculpture or the creation of an ancient taxidermist.
The probe continued past the skeleton and slowly made its way through the second opening into the main chamber.
The small light that was emitted from the fiber optic probe scanned the pitch dark room for several minutes, it appeared to be empty.
The chamber was much to large for the tiny light to illuminate,  so a second more effective light was sent up the shaft to the chamber to aid the fiber optic camera.
When it did, it revealed a much larger chamber than the first.
When the video probe turned and faced directly into the room an even more shocking sight greeted the scientists.
In the middle of the stone chamber was a golden sphere about one foot in diameter floating in the air about eighteen inches from the floor.

Golden sphere floating in the air in the second chamber. Take note of what appears to be a shadow under the Orb. This is not a shadow, it is discoloration from the energy source radiating from the Orb. This force is also pushing the bat droppings aside.

The scientists were amazed at what they were seeing.
The sphere was just hovering in mid-air.
There were no wires holding it up, it was not an illusion.
It has been estimated that the floating sphere is directly in line with the top point of the pyramid .
When word of the mysterious floating sphere reached the Egyptian antiquity Department, the exploration team was ordered to cease their activity and withdraw the probe immediately.
The video tape was confiscated and they were ordered to leave the pyramid.
The next day the Egyptian government issued a gag order that forbid any disclosure of the skeletal remains of the half human half cat and especially the floating sphere.
They were to remain a state secret until it could be determined exactly what they were.
Fortunately the story was picked up by The National Reporter before the gag order was issued and we are at great risk bringing this astonishing find to the world.
What the scientists will uncover about these strange objects is unknown at this time, but you can depend on The National Reporter to be the first news agency to carry the story.

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Acid peeing robot dog causing problems in NJ town

Robotic dog pees acid

Zipper the wonder dog has local residents fearing for their safety

The National Reporter
Residents in Colonia NJ are up in arms over a robotic dog that is wandering their streets.
“The robot dog is really cool to watch walking around, but the damned thing pee’s hydrochloric acid all over the place!” Hugo Riley of Normandy road said.
Damage done by the dog is clearly evident around town as evidenced by this fire hydrant on Inman avenue.

melted hydarnt

Scene of robot dogs destructive urinating.

Township police have issued a warning to all residents to stay away from Zipper the wonder dog.
“Our animal control people have tried everything possible to catch Zipper, but he is too strong. He has freed himself from steel box traps as easy as tearing out of a wet paper bag and tranquilizer darts just bounce off of him.” Woodbridge police chief William Trenery said.
For the time being, Zipper the wonder dog is still roaming the streets of Colonia destroying everything in his path with his never ending hydrochloric acid rest stops.
No one knows who built him or where he came from or for what purpose anyone would create such an abomination.
But one thing is for certain, if you see Zipper the wonder dog headed your way, run for your life!

Zipper the wonder dog

Zipper prowling a Colonia shopping center parking lot looking for something to destroy with his acid.

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Sports scandal; Robot disguised as a human wins womens decathlon.

Robot faker

Tracy Chow handing off to Nancy Franklin during last months decathlon between Rutgers and NYU.

The National Reporter
The reputation of women’s sports was tarnished today when officials discovered a secret about recent decathlon winner, Nancy Franklin.
She wasn’t a woman at all, she was a mechanical robot machine that had disguised itself as a human being so it could cheat at sports.
Miss Franklin was declared the winner in last months decathlon race between Rutgers and NY city college.
“I was so happy for her and the team.” team mate Tracy Chow told me. “And then I heard rumors going around the campus that she may have cheated. I was shocked and angry.”
The board of directors received an anonymous phone call two days after the race from an unknown source tipping them off about Miss Franklin.
They began to suspect that the anonymous tipper was telling the truth when Miss Franklin arrived at the deans office for questioning and the room quickly began filling with diesel fumes from her exhaust pipe.
Rutgers red faced women’s sports coach, Barbara Trent, called NY city college late last night to give them the embarrassing news and to inform them that she would drive up and give them the decathlon trophy in person and apologize on behalf of her team and Rutgers university.
Nancy Franklin moved out of her dormitory room last night and was unavailable for comment.
Her where abouts are not known at this time.

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