Man dies of heart attack while mooning neighbors

William Martin's rear end was sticking out of his window for three days before neighbors called police.

The National Reporter

56 year old William Martin of Chicago didn’t get along with his neighbors.
Police records show that they had been called to his house several times to handle neighborhood disputes because of his antagonistic behavior.
Last week Mr. Martin was having a fight with the people who lived across the street from him and after they had gone into their home to ignore him, he decided to moon them from his bedroom window.
A few of his neighbors witnessed him opening his window and thrusting his naked buttocks out in an obscene manner while yelling obscenities at the top of his lungs.
This went on for about an hour, then he stopped shouting and just sat on the window sill with his naked rear end hanging out in the breeze.
“We thought he had really gone off the deep end this time.” Neighbor Jack Warner told us. “Everyone on the block came out to look at him with his ass out the window then it got dark out and we all went home. The next morning when I got up to go to work he was still there.”
The National Reporter – Didn’t you think it was odd that he would stay there like that all night long?
“Nah,.not really. He was a nut job and this is just the sort of thing that we would expect him to do.”
The National Reporter – When did you realise that there was something wrong?
“Well, two days later one of the kids down the street thought it would be funny to shoot him in the ass with his BB gun.” he said. “He shot him right square in the ass and he didn’t even flinch. He shot him a few more times and he just sat there with his ass hanging out the window completely oblivious to the stinging pain.”
The National Reporter – What happened then?
“A crowd began to form, people were laughing as the kid repeatedly shot him in the ass with his BB gun. A few minutes later a few of the kids friends came racing up on their bicycles with their BB guns and then there was five of them pelting his buttocks. Everyone thought it was hilarious, but no one was wondering why he just sat there taking it like that.”
The National Reporter – How long did that go on?
“For about an hour, then we told the kids to knock it off, he had enough punishment. After that, the crowd dispersed and everyone went home.”
The National Reporter – Amazing, and not one person thought that there might be something wrong with him?
“Nope, like I said, This was just the sort of thing that he would do. He was a nut.”
The National Reporter – What happened after that?
“Well the next day when I left the house to go to work and I saw that he was still there I suspected that there might be something wrong with him, so I called the cops.
I mean three days with your ass hanging out the window even after being shot a few hundred times with BB guns was a bit abnormal, even for Bill Martin.
Later that night when I got home from work I saw that the cops had put yellow crime scene tape all around the house and Bill was still in the window with his ass hanging out. I thought that was kind of weird.
The was a cop standing in front of the house so I asked him what was going on.
That was when I found out that Bill had been dead for three days. The reason why they didn’t remove him from the window is because of his rigor mortis. He was so stiff that they had to call in a specialist with a power saw to cut his legs off just to remove him from the window.”
William Martin was removed from the window later that evening.
Funeral service will be held at Thompsons funeral home.

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2 Responses to Man dies of heart attack while mooning neighbors

  1. Pingback: Man dies of heart attack while mooning neighbors (via ) « Ssn713's Blog

  2. amylynn912 says:

    Wow if thats for real thats a real damn bummer for that guy..

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