Get out of the way, here comes the insult bus!

The insult bus making its rounds through New Yorks citys famous SoHo section

The National Reporter

While sitting at a traffic light a year ago listening to people yelling at each other, 43 year old Martin Fromwell came up with an idea that would rake in thousands of dollars.
“Why not cash in on peoples hatred for each other?” He thought to himself.
Martin went to work right away working on his project and a year later he launched the insult bus.
The insult bus is a a bus where paying customers can yell insults, swear words and make obscene hand gestures at pedestrians walking along the streets.
“It’s a great way to vent off your frustrations or just have fun insulting total strangers.” Mr. Fromwell explained. “And it’s completely safe. No one can get on the bus once the doors and windows are locked and the bus has an open top deck that is twelve feet above the ground so people can scream at their victims below in complete safety.”

Mary Johnson (standing at the left in the blue shirt) with a group of passengers preparing to enjoy a trip down 42nd on the insult bus.

The National Reporter was invited to take a trip on the insult bus and interview some of the passengers to find out why this has become such a phenomenal success.
First up we interviewed Mary Johnson who is a regular insult bus passenger.
The National Reporter – What makes you want to scream at total strangers an make fun of them?
“I like it because it’s a perfect way to get all of my frustrations out,..hold on a moment.”
A second later, Mary had her head out the window screaming at an obese gentleman on the sidewalk.
“Hey you big fat smelly lard ass, you’re cracking the sidewalk. Why don’t you just float to where you’re going, ya big fat ****ing blimp!”
“Yeah,..you fat piece of crap. Get off the sidewalk and make room for the normal sized people like that ugly bald headed bastard behind you!” A passenger yelled from up top.
Some of the passengers were leaning out the windows giving the finger to pedestrians and screaming insults at them at the top of their lungs.

The passengers where shouting some of the most obscene degrading things at passer by that this reporter has ever heard.

No one was safe from their onslaught as the insult bus made it’s way down crowded 42nd street.
They hurled every racial epithet imaginable, they even insulted handicapped children in wheelchairs and crutches who where getting some fresh air in front of the children’s hospital.
After the bus had passed the crippled children and the yelling and laughing died down a little, I continued my interview with Ms. Johnson.
The National Reporter – Do you ever worry that the people you insult might recognize you on the street or follow the bus back to the terminal to get even with you?
“No, not really.” She said. “Why should I worry about that? This is fun and thinking about stuff like that just ruins it.”
“Hey douchebag!” A man next to me yelled loudly. “You got a big nose, you fat ugly retarded looking faggot!”
The man he was yelling at glared back angrily and gave him the middle finger.

The victims are helpless and can do little more than make a feeble attempt at returning the insults.

As the insult bus made its rounds up and down 42nd street leaving a hundreds of very angry people in it’s wake, I walked up stairs to the open upper deck to speak with the top riders.
“Hey string bean!” A woman in red yelled. “Watch out you don’t get stuck in a crack, ya boney assed piece of crap!”
Her two young children were sitting next to her giving everyone on the street the middle finger.
The National Reporter – Excuse me madam, do you think it is alright to let your children make such obscene gestures to total strangers like That?
“Yeah sure,..why not?” She said.
The National Reporter – Don’t you think it would be better if you taught them to respect people?
“What the hell are you talking about?”
The National Reporter – Children should be raised to respect people, not insult and ridicule them.
“Hey ma,..look at the big fat ass on this broad coming up!” her six year old son yelled out excitedly.
She spun around and laughed when she saw the portly woman down below.
An instant later the street echoed with insults containing the words, “fat ass and lard ass” bellowing from the mouths of every passenger on the bus both top and bottom.
“Hey lard ass, can I park my Harley between those ****ing beach balloons!?”
“Walk backwards big ass, I want to hear your back up alarm!”
“I’ll bet your farts sound like a ****ing air horn!”
The poor woman was humilated.
She looked like she was going to cry, her face was bright red and she refused to look at her tormenters.
“I’ll bet it takes you 24 hours to spin that big ass ass around just once!”
“Look how big her ****ing ass is! HA,HA,HA!” Mary Johnson yelled out.
As they were yelling insults at the poor woman, a man with thick eye glasses exited a store in front of her.
“Hey, look out four eyes!” the womans six year old daughter yelled out. “You’re gonna get sucked into that ladys giant ass because of her gravity!”
“Yeah Poindexter,..watch out for her fat ass!” Her mother added.

And that was the way it went for the rest of the trip.
The passengers were yelling obscene degrading insults at complete strangers on the streets of new york city sometimes right in front of the police, who by the way did nothing about it.
If anyone is interested in taking a trip on the insult bus you can buy tickets at the terminal located at 54 38th street in NYC.
Tickets are $50 for adults and $25 dollars for children.
The insult bus operates weekdays and Saturdays from 8:00am to 6:00pm.
Please do not toss objects from the bus while it is in motion.

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