Abnormally large spider gives construction crew the creeps.

The National Reporter
Construction workers who are renovating an old house in Boston Mass. got a creepy surprize when they started cutting into the structures 100-year-old foundation last week.
The second they turned on the masonry cutter, an abnormally large funnel-web spider darted out of its silky hiding place and scared the living daylights out of them.
“We saw the big web with the funnel hole in it and we  laughed about how it looked like a giant spider web.” Foreman Jim Barnes told us. ” We didn’t really think it was a spider web, we thought that maybe it was some old cotton fiber that got tangled up in the doorway somehow.”

The spider is quickly alerted by sounds and vibrations

The National Reporter – Was it there when you started the renovation project?
“No,. that’s what’s so weird about it. We excavated all the ground out in front of the basement and cut a new doorway in the foundation. When we came back the next day, there it was.”
The National Reporter – Was the spider already living in the basement?
“I have no idea.  All I know is the damn thing won’t let us work.  The second anyone makes any kind of sound or vibration, that freaking spider pops out of its hole ready to bite anyone near it.”
The National Reporter – Have you called animal control?
“We sure did.” he said. “They sent out a young girl who had just started working for animal control the day before.  She had one of those noose things on a stick that they used to snare dogs with.  She walked into the backyard and asked us what kind of animal was giving us problems.  She was professional about it.”
The National Reporter – Did you tell her it was a giant spider?
“Nah,..I just banged the wall will a shovel to get it to pop out of its hole. You should have seen that poor girl run!”
The National Reporter – So animal control was no help?
“Nope.  She came back an hour later with her supervisor to see for himself. I guess he didn’t believe her when she told him it was a giant spider.”
The National Reporter – What did he say when he saw it?
“He jumped back nearly ten feet when it popped out of its hole the way it does.  After he examined it for a few minutes he told us to call someone who knew about spiders, maybe the local university.”
The National Reporter – Did they send anyone out?
“Not yet, I don’t think they believed us when we told them how big it was.  So for now we have to work around the damned thing and hope no one gets bitten by it.”
The National Reporter – Why don’t you just bash it with a shovel?
“Do you have any idea how messy and disgusting that would be?  Oh yuck,..just thinking about it is making me sick. Besides, none of my men want to get that close to it. The spiders fangs have to be huge.  One bite from them and it’s all over, don’t even worry about the venom.”

Marty the spider, as it has become known, is still guarding his web and keeping Jim Barnes and his crew at bay.
Anyone who is interested in seeing the creature should call Barnes construction company in Boston Mass. to get the address.
While the public is welcome to view the spider, Barnes construction company and the home owner requests that  the visiting public shows respect and courtesy to  the neighbors and are urged not to antagonise the spider.
“We don’t know how dangerous the thing is, so please don’t piss it off.”  Jim Barnes said.
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© The National Reporter, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to The National Reporter with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About Ace Flashman
Grabbing up all the hot news flashes from around the nation and bringing them to you!!!

3 Responses to Abnormally large spider gives construction crew the creeps.

  1. Wayne-Bo says:

    Ace you continue to disappoint. Both photos are identical except for the fake spider in one. Can I have the phone number for the International Reporter’s Association, please? Oh wait, they’re fake too. Google the name and see. C’mon Clark Kent, What’s really going on?

  2. Ace Flashman says:

    Sorry to disappoint your attempt at skepticism, but the photo is not fake.
    It was verified by NAPAD (National photograph authentication department) in Washington D.C. before it was released for publication at The National Reporter.
    The reason why they look identical is because they were taken less than a second apart.
    The spider moved at blinding speed.

    Sorry, but we are not at liberty to release the telephone number of the International Reporters Association.
    The International Reporters Association does not participate in internet advertising, so it does not appear in any search engine data bases.
    It is a non-profit organization that awards journalists and their venues for outstanding achievement, honesty, integrity and truthfulness.

    Thank you for reading The National Reporter.
    We look forward to your continued readership.
    Yours truly,
    Fred Stinklewitz
    Staff editor, The National Reporter.

  3. ක්සැන්ඩර් says:

    Wonderful fotos and wonderful post Ace, Once in a blue moon a person will think out of the box and you are that one. Keep up the good work !!!

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