Test tube baby project removed from highschool science fair, creators cry foul.
November 9, 2009 1 Comment
The National Reporter
High school science enthusiasts from Rochester NY are angry at school officials for refusing to allow their creation into the regional science competition.
The National Reporter met up with the four disgruntled teens at a local restaurant for a first hand interview.
“I think the judges are totally ignorant.” Abby McDonald said. “Our project delves into the science of genetic engineering and that scares them.”
“Yeah,..I suppose they would have been happy if we built a stupid volcano model because it wouldn’t threaten their archaic belief system.” His brother Arty added.
The National Reporter – So you guys actually made a test tube baby?
“Yes we did, and it would have blown away the competition at the science fair.” Steven Welshman said.
“That’s why they wouldn’t let us enter it into the contest.” Abby added.
The National Reporter – Where is the test tube baby now?
“It’s at my house down in my laboratory.”
The National Reporter – I would really like to see it and maybe get a photograph if that is alright with you guys.
The four young scientists huddled for a minute or two whispering to each other occasionally glancing up at me.
I could hear a steady stream of muffled grunting and snorting that sounded very similar to the Steve Urkel character portrayed by actor Jaleel White on televisions hit comedy, Family matters.
“O.k,..you can see it.” Abby McDonald said.
The National Reporter followed the four young scientists to Abby’s house.
Along the way they stopped at Rick Henderson’s house so he could get a sweater and a fresh cartridge for his inhaler.
When we arrived, I pulled in behind them in the drive way.
There was a fairly large pile of discarded electronic equipment stacked up along side of the garage, most of it appeared to have been damaged by fire.
As they were exiting the car, Arty McDonald stumbled and fell face first onto the driveway tearing a hole in his new trousers.
He sat there for a few seconds looking at what he had done, his face was getting red.
Suddenly he let loose in a fit of anger.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid!!” He yelled, pounding his fists against the asphalt.
“Take it easy, Arty.” Abby said. “Mommy will hear you.”
“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” he yelled again.
Then he got to his feet and ran over to the garage door and started pounding his head against it.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid!!” He cried, slamming his head into the wooden door over and over again.
The other three scientists stood around watching him, none of them said a word as he pounded his head repeatedly.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” He cried. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
His tantrum lasted a full five minutes, finally he stopped and turned around.
He was gasping for breath and his forehead was all red and swollen.
His glasses where broken in half and one of the lenses were missing.
“I hope you’re happy now, retard!” Abby said.
“Shut up!” He said. He appeared to be a little uneasy on his feet and ready to pass out.
Then the front door opened and their mother stuck her head out.
“What the hell is going on out there,..what’s all that banging?” She yelled.
“Nothing ma, we were just fixing something.” Abby said.
“Well keep the racket down, I’m trying to watch my soaps!” she said, then she went back inside.
After a few minutes they took me around to the back of the house to the cellar door.
Abby opened it and I followed the three scientists down.
Once inside I was amazed at all the scientific equipment they had.
It looked like the science lab at MIT.
The National Reporter – Where is the test tube baby?
“It’s over there in that card board box.” Abby said, pointing to a card table next to the furnace.
I walked over to the box and peered inside at the test tube baby, instantly the stink filled my nostrils and made me gag.
I hastily stepped back a few feet to get away from the pungent odor.
“What do you think?” Abby asked. “Isn’t it remarkable?”
The National Reporter – Good God in heaven, do your parents know about this thing?”
“What?,..well not really.” he said.
He seemed to be slightly disappointed with my reaction to their creation.
“We named it Rhoda after Abby’s and Arty’s mom.” Rick Henderson said.
The National Reporter – Where did you get the genetic material to make this thing?
“We used skin scrapings from each other to make the basic compound and then I fertilized it with my sperm.” Abby told me.
The test tube baby, Rhonda, began squirming around in the box making a chattering sound.
It’s eyes were blinking and it was gnashing its teeth.
“It’s feeding time.” Arty said, as he rubbed the bump on his forehead.
Ricky walked over to the refrigerator and took out a hamburger and put it in the microwave oven.
A few seconds later it was cooked and he picked it up with a long pair of steel tongs.
“Here you go Rhonda.” he said holding it up in front of the things face.
It lunged for the hamburger with both hands and ripped it from the tongs, a flurry of flies swarmed off of the thing and began buzzing around the box as it chewed furiously.
The burger was gone in seconds.
The National Reporter – What do you plan on doing with Rhonda?
“Huh?” Abby said. “What do you mean?”
The National Reporter – What are you going to do with this thing when it starts getting bigger?
The three scientists looked at each other with confused looks on their faces shrugging their shoulders.
“I don’t know, we never thought of that.” Rickey said.
“I guess we can sell it to an adoption service or something.” Steve said.
“Yeah,..that’s a good idea.” Abby said.
Suddenly Rhonda started screeching and thrashing around in its box.
I decided that it was time for me to leave.
As I walked over to the stairs I saw Ricky and Abby getting out a restraining harness from a box under the table where Rhonda was.
I turned and didn’t look back.
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