Police in Tennessee unhappy with new uniforms

Gay uniform resized

Spencer Tennessee police officer Greg Porter; I feel like a damned fool in this thing.

The National Reporter
Elementary school students in Spencer Tennessee were invited to participate in a city wide contest sponsored by the local chamber of commerce to promote solidarity between the police and the populace.
The children, kindergarten to grade six, were given the task of designing new uniforms for the Spencer police department.
The chamber of commerce and the police chief promised that the police would be wearing the winning design.
Almost every child in the Tennessee town went to work designing their new police uniforms.
As the designs flooded into the chamber of commerce, the officials had a good time chuckling at the childrens uniforms, they thought they were very cute.
Most of them looked like pirate and cowboy outfits and some of them from the little girls had fairy wings and magic wands.
When the big day arrived and the best uniform would be decided with votes, the police and the chamber of commerce realised that they had made one big error in the rules.
They mistakingly stipulated in the rules that only the children could vote in the contest and no matter what the outcome, the town would have to spend their entire uniform budget to have them made and the police would have to wear them.

When the big day arrived, all the children cast their votes for their favorite design.
By 3:00 pm the winner was decided.
The creation of third grade student, Hector Bean won the most votes for his He-man, masters of the universe ensamble complete with the magic sword.
Three weeks later the new uniforms arrived and the Spencer police were ordered to turn in their old uniforms in exchange for the new ones.
If they refused, they would lose their jobs.
Two of the officers resigned on the spot rather than having to bear the humilation of wearing them.
The rest of them reluctantly put the new uniforms on and went out on their regular patrols.
“It was the most embarrassing day in my entire life. “Sgt. Timothy Brown said. “People were laughing and pointing at me all day. One of them asked me why I wasn’t riding Cringer, my fearless friend, who becomes Battle cat. They also asked me where Orko was, who ever the hell that is.”

The spencer police have filed a grievance with the Tennessee state PBA and are expecting to hear from them as soon as possible so that the problem can be resolved in a way that won’t hurt the kids feelings.
The National Reporter went to the Spencer police department and talked with Lt. Jason Berkly, who is the coordinator for public relations.
“I know we promised the kids that we would wear the uniform they decided on, but this is ridiculous. These things make us look retarded and the whole town is laughing at us. Well, not the whole town.
Every kid under 11 years old think we look really cool.” He said, holding up his plastic power sword.
He plopped it on his desk when the phone rang.
“Yeah,..what is it this time?” he asked. The call was from the front desk.
“Lieutenant, we are getting so many calls from people calling for help to save them from Skeletor that none of the real emergency calls are getting through.” The desk sergent said. “What the hell are we going to do?”
Lt. Berkly dragged his hand down his face, picked up his power sword and threw it across the room.
I decided that it would be best if I ended my interview at that time.
The Spencer police are still wearing their He-man, ‘masters of the universe’ uniforms while they wait to hear from the Tennessee state PBA.
Apparently they have become deadlocked in the Tennessee state supreme court against the ACLU who are arguing that the childrens civil rights will be violated if they stop wearing the he-man outfits.

© The National Reporter, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to The National Reporter with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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