Breaking news; Will the real Osama Bin Laden please stand up?
November 1, 2009 6 Comments
The National Reporter
Photographs captured by the U.S. army yesterday that were hidden deep inside a cave once used by Al Queda operatives has revealed a startling revelation which has been unknown up to now.
Osama Bin Laden is dwarf.
The National Reporter met with the commanding officer of fire base zero charlie, which is located in the hills a few miles from where the photographs were found.
We spoke to General Winston Adams of the tenth division about the shocking discovery.
“It was really quite a shock when we examined the pictures and saw who it was.” He said. “Ever since the hunt for Bin Laden began it was assumed from his photographs that he was over six feet tall.”
The National Reporter “What do you estimate his height to be?”
“Well,.. judging from the rifle next to him on the sofa, I would say he is about two and a half feet tall.” He told us.
The National Reporter “Correct me if I am wrong General Adams, but didn’t a soldier report seeing a dwarf fleeing from a cave he was checking last year?”
“Yes, we have reopened his report and found that a photograph was taken at the time which shows a dwarf resembling Osama Bin Laden scampering out of the cave right in front of him. Unfortunatly he disapeared into a small hole before the soldier could grab him. He dropped a grenade in after him, but he got away. After we saw this eye opening photograph, We are now positive that it was Bin Laden.”
After our meeting with general Adams, The National Reporter went to Cairo to see if we could dig up some more evidence of the diminutive terrorist.
It didn’t take long.
Here is private family photograph of Osama Bin Laden that was lifted by The National Reporter from his parents home while they were out for the evening.
It is apparent that dwarfism runs in the Bin laden family as evidenced by the photograph.
According to the inscription written on the back of the photograph, Habbib was Osama’s favorite riding dog.
That is, he rode the dog like it was a horse on his familys private race track.
Now it can be understood why the search for Osama Bin Laden has been so difficult.
The army has been looking for a man who is reported to be over six feet tall while in reality, Osama Bin Laden is just slightly over two feet tall and able to crawl into tunnels that an average sized person could barely stick their arm in.
The National Reporter will keep our readers udated on this startling new twist in the Osama Bin Laden saga as it unfolds.
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