Teens skip school to build stargate

Morons build stargate in the woods

Three teens skipped school for five months to construct a stargate.( From left to right; Steve Tucker, Dave West and Phil Martin)


The National Reporter
On the first day of school last year, three teenagers, Phil Martin, Dave West and Steve Tucker decided that they would build a tree fort in the woods and go live in it everyday instead of going to school.
They all agreed that it was a great idea, so the next day they began their project, but it didn’t go too well for the three handymen.
After a week of bumbling around in the trees and falling quite often, they gave up and just sat around throwing rocks at the single piece of wood that they had managed to nail between two trees.
After a few weeks they were getting bored with hanging out in the woods everyday with nothing to do and were considering going back to school.
that was when Phil Martin came up with his brilliant idea.
“Let’s build a stargate and go to the planet of naked women and pot forests!” he told his two pals.
Dave and Steve thought the idea was perfect, way better than a stupid tree fort.
They immediatly went to work constructing their stargate bubbling over with excitment and going on and on about all the naked women and endless fields of marajuana they would be enjoying when it was finished.
Five months later their stargate was completed.

As the three engineers stood around admiring their work, Steve came up with a good idea.
“Before we go, we should do something to the school.” He said with a mischievious twinkle in his eye.
“Like what for instance?” Dave asked.
“Let’s go screw up Freddy davidson’s new car!”
Freddy Davidson was the schools high school football star and he picked on them alot, which was one of the main reasons why they hated school so much.
They agreed that vandalizing his car would be the perfect farewell gift before they went to the planet of naked women and endless pot fields.

The three of them went to the high school parking lot and found Freddys brand new chrome plated Acura NSX sitting all by itself with no one around watching.
Phil struck first with a big rock through the windshield.
Then Steve and Dave joined in.
For the next five minutes they smashed the living crap out of the car, throwing rocks and even pulling up blocks of flag stone from the curb to do the utmost damage.
Finally Steve opened the gas cap and put a piece of cloth in it, then he lit it and the three of them ran for the hills.
Unfortunatly for them, Freddy had seen them from his classroom window and was making his way out to the parking lot with half the school behind him.
The three teens in the meantime stopped on a trail in the woods to catch their breath because they were laughing so hard.
“Man,..that was funny as all hell!” Phil laughed.
“Yeah!” Steve said. “I’ll bet Freddy is going to blow his stack when he see’s his car!”
Just then, Phil’s eye bugged out and a look of shear terror crossed his face.
“Holy crap,..RUN!!” He yelped.
Steve and Dave turned to see about fifty people charging towards them with Freddy leading the way.
The three of them turned and ran as fast as they could with their persuers only a hundred feet behind them and closing fast.
“We have to get to the stargate before they catch us!” Dave huffed.
A few seconds later they saw the stargate ahead of them.
“We’re almost there!” Phil gasped.

When they reached the opening of their stargate, they all stopped and turned to face their persuers as they closed in on them.
“Ha,ha, we smashed up your gay car, Freddy. And there isn’t anything you can do about it!” Phil laughed.
“Yeah,..bite me!” Dave added.
Then seconds before the enraged mob reached them, they turned and stepped through the stargate.
“Are we there yet?” Steve asked.

They can’t recall anything that happend after that and for the present time they are are not allowed to discuss it with each other.
The terms of their probation prohibits them from associating with each other.
Dave West’s family moved out of town shortly after the incident and they have not been in touch with any of their former neighbors.
Steve Tucker transfered to another school and Phil Martin was expelled from school and is very rarely seen outside of his house.
He now spends most of his time playing video games and working on his top secret project in his garage.

© The National Reporter, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to The National Reporter with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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