Frozen poop saves life of Eskimo hunter

Eskimo1

Muk Luck the Eskimo


The National Reporter
An Eskimo hunter who found himself trapped in an ice cave by a ferocious polar bear used his ingenuity to save his life.
Muk Luck the Eskimo was hunting along the polar ice cap when he was unexpectedly suprised by a huge polar bear.
He dropped his spear and knife as he dashed to the saftey of a nearby ice cave with the snarling beast breathing down his neck.
Once inside he was safe from the bear, but he was now completely defenseless.
He feared that he would starve to death waiting for the persistant animal to to leave.
As night fell, he had to relieve himself.
He dropped his seal skin clothes and proceeded to deficate on the floor of the cave.
Once he was finished doing his business, he was amazed at the size and extremly pointed shape of his feces.
He realized that if it froze hard enough he might be able to use it as a knife and kill the bear with it.
He left it on the floor to freeze during the night and went to sleep.
Early the next morning as the sun was rising, he picked up the feces and was relieved to see that it had frozen hard as a rock.
He crawled over to the opening of the cave and saw the polar bear a few feet from the entrance sound asleep.
Without any hesitation he leapt from the cave with his poop knife and stabbed in into the top of the bears head burying it deeply in it’s skull.
The animal was killed instantly, he never knew what hit him.
When Muk Luck returned to his village and told everyone what happened. they all laughed at him.
They didn’t believe him.
So Muk Luck took them to the bear and showed them.
Muk Luck’s son, Gluk Muk Luck, couldn’t believe the amazing feat his father had accomplished.
“Look and see the knife of feces in it’s head!” He cried. “My father tells the truth!”
Muk Luck was carried back to the village on the shoulders of his people.
They left the bear where it was despite the large amount of meat it would have provided for the small village.
Even though they were starving, they didn’t want to eat it.

Dead bear

Muk Lucks son, Gluk Muk Luck, holding the bear with his fathers poop knife still protruding from his skull.

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About Ace Flashman
Grabbing up all the hot news flashes from around the nation and bringing them to you!!!

4 Responses to Frozen poop saves life of Eskimo hunter

  1. Angie says:

    Photoshopped!!!! Look at how perfect the line is from the head to the poop. How stupid! Can I have my 2 mins back please…

  2. Ace Flashman says:

    No, you may not have your two minutes back.
    Once you begin reading one of our articles you automatically enter into an agreement with us that you willfully and knowingly acknowledge that all of the time you spend reading our story’s becomes the property of The National Reporter and our subsidiaries.
    By entering this agreement you have legally affirmed that we may deduct time from your life span and use it at our discretion.

    Thank you for reading The National Reporter and we hope to see you again real soon!

  3. Cragart says:

    What an incredibly resourceful fellow this Muk Luck the Eskimo is.
    Imagine, using his feces to fashion a weapon that saved his life.
    very admirable.
    What did they do with his feces knife?
    I would assume that it is worthy of display in the Smithsonian.

  4. Stephanie hargon says:

    So the encounter with the bear literally scared the shit out if him, hahaha.

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